Pickupartist's Blog

Just when I know how to escalate and get good with women quickly, I think of those women I slept with but couldn't keep around.

And that is quite depressing.

There are so many women that has the ability to be a great girlfriend.

But I had my brain up my butt.

...maybe that's a little harsh.

But either way it comes down to TWO distinct problems:

First, I was working hard to prove something to myself. I was still a recovering nerd but I've never fully recovered. And I've stopped trying to recover. And that's what's made me move past this "proving myself" thing.

I've accepted what I am.

Sure, I like video games and comic books.

But...

Do you believe girls have cooler interests?

Is shopping, getting drunk and Myspace are cooler than what I'm into?

It's all relative.

Self-acceptance is what really matters.

A girl won't accept you if you don't accept yourself first.

Can you imagine a woman wanting to be your girlfriend when you don't like yourself?

She will HATE your company and not want to be around you.

Because you can't really like a woman,  if you don't like yourself.  And if you do like her, but not yourself, then you look like a total loser. And who do you think wants to date a loser?

Although it sounds easy, self-acceptance is extremely rare. How often do you hear people say, "I don't care what anyone thinks of me!"

Based on my experience, almost all DON'T ACCEPT themselves completely.

And I am one of them.

How you accept yourself is how women find you attractive, and people likes to be around you.

It may be hard to completely accept yourself. There is an old beliefs creep in and saying you are not enough, that you must be more than yourself now.

But the degree to which you banish these thoughts is the degree to which your game becomes better.

Because game is really about being yourself, not doubting yourself. And game doesn't stop after your opener, after "mating", after a few dates. It never stops.

Because it is you.

You are not separated from your game.

The "game" is the degree to which you can express who you really are. Your game IS YOU.

Maybe you think "But I'm nervous and insecure and awkward."  I don't agree. That's not you.

That is the indistinct you.

That is you trying to come out, but the one that stop you from expressing what you really want to express is your ego and your old mental habits.

Before I go deeper to that, I want to skip to the second reason why I couldn't keep women around after I slept with them.

I'm not conscious about shaping.

Knowing what you want is really just an extension of self-acceptance. And shaping is all about knowing what YOU want. If you don't know what you want, you can't shape.

In fact, it is self-acceptance, applied to others. You encourage women to do to you what you like if you know what you like also.

As you can see, women are very flexible. They have a lot of things that they can expose to a guy. Men usually tell women to be selfish, mean, and act like they are better than the man.

But it's not really her fault. She's just doing what she's told. Women are always looking to men to get a sense of reality.

So if you approach and treat a woman like a pedestal, she will act accordingly.

If you approach a woman and treat her like she's lucky that you approached her, she will feel that way.

Also if you treat her like she should stay in your life and nurture your lifestyle after mating with her, she will do so.

We go into this heavily in our workshops. I've developed lots of ways to shape a woman to be EXACTLY the kind of woman I want in my life.

And each woman is different. For example, I may want one woman to be just a mating partner. I may want another woman to be a sugar mama! I may want another one to be a girlfriend.  It all depends on what you want.

I remember all the crappy, frustrating relationships I used to have.

Also I think all the hookups I had as a young pickup artist, and how frustrating it was not see those women again.

But when I began to accept myself and analyze what I wanted, it all came together.

The Attraction Code is all about figuring out who you are, accepting and cultivating your character, and then applying that to the women you want to meet, sleep with, and date.

If you are struggling with self acceptance and letting the real YOU shine through The Attraction Code is a MUST HAVE.

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Dating can be your best friend.

...OR your big enemy.

A lot of time, a man can feel like a slave to

his natural need to procreate.

Then there goes a common quote,  "He thinks

with his... You know."

Well it can be hard to NOT think that way if

you aren't physically satisfied.

But men are also goal oriented.

We make our actions to achieve things and

influence the world in a positive way.

I've personally faced one of the biggest

challenges and it is balancing the two - my

carnal obsession and achieving my goals.

When you are single, dating can consume a lot

of time. Women will suck away at your time if

you don't know what you're doing.

Before you know it, you are spending hours in

the park, feeding the birds and cuddling...now

there's nothing wrong with spending quality

time with your girlfriend, AS LONG AS YOU

DON'T compromise YOUR GOALS IN LIFE.

Goals take time, likewise to women.

In fact, it's a woman's NATURE to get the

man's time - it's her way of getting you to

invest in her. If she gets pregnant there's a

lesser chance of you leaving her (this comes

from our caveman days, so to speak).

It is really tricky to manage your time with

women. You see, most men want to give their

time to women. By nature men are "givers."

They like to please women, protect them, and

give them good feelings.

Guys have also a urges that can completely

take over your thinking.

Both of these things can get in the way of you

making the most of your life, your time.

I want you take a moment and ask this to

yourself, "WHAT DO I REALLY WANT TO GIVE TO

WOMEN?"

Now I know it wasn't about "money," or

"control over my life," or "lots of my free

time."

It was probably something like "good feelings,

sexual pleasure, relaxation, excitement,

feeling of safety, make her smile or feel good

about herself, etc."

I think men have problems with how they use

their time with women in two ways.

First, they think that the gifts they REALLY

want to give aren't that valuable, so they

overcompensate with other stuff - like

spending too much time or money on a woman.

Second, men think that they are "getting"

something valuable when a girl spends time

with them.

Guys was brainwash by the society to believe

that women are a prize to attain, and that

there's some inherent value in a pretty face.

It's not TRUE!

The best thing is to see women for what they

are, nothing more, nothing less. They are

cute, sometimes fun, but ultimately not that

important, AND THEY CAN'T COMPLETE YOUR LIFE!

Now it is really hard to break out of this

mental prison of feeling inferior to women.

Your mental habits are subtle and hard to

notice because you've been doing them for

years.

Young men are taught that their urges  is

crude and silly, and that it is just a favor

that women ALLOWS them to mate with them.

There's a syndrome that I call a "doofus dad"

syndromeThere's another societal factor going

on, . In almost every TV commercial and

sitcom, the "dad" or "boyfriend" or "husband"

is a dopey, incompetent goof, and the

mom/daughter/girlfriend/w ife has to use her

superior intelligence to fix the situation.

This leads to the perception that women are

"better," and thus, their time is more

valuable than yours.

If your time is not so valuable, then you will

feel obligated to give her LOTS OF IT.

But here's the thing - you won't be present

for most of that time, if you are giving a

woman too much time. You will be distracted,

resentful, you will give her your "half-assed"

attention.

I just realize this after analyzing lots of

dates I went on women.

After that I started to give my FULL ATTENTION

to women even though I'm only giving a smaller

amounts of my time.

Aside from making our time better, this

creates a VAST ATTRACTION because I left women

craving more.

Now my girlfriends can't get enough of me - in

fact, I don't GIVE THEM "enough."

Ask you know, "enough" would mean,

"overexposure" to me, and women can't be

pulled to what they already have.

The proper way to manage your time is by being

HONEST. And I don't recommend you to play

games with women and pretend to be busy or

whatever.

No need of games, just be real with the girl -

and don't spend more time that you want.

Enjoy whatever free time you have with women

but still with focus on your personal goals.

Be the man on the go.

Now in a short amount of time it requires that

you are able to meet a lot of women, which

I'll have to cover in another newsletter.

It's not good to see that men waste their

lives chasing and "putting up with" girls, and

then they are left out ALONE.

Remember that women aren't property that you

can keep or somehow bring with you when you

die.

It doesn't mean that you can "keep" the women

if you invest all your time with her.

One more thing here - if you start being

honest with the amount of time you are willing

give to a woman, you may feel GUILTY.

It's either a girl will try to make you feel

guilty, or you will feel it on your own. This

is ok, it just means you have a weak focus.

If you are following your true ways, it will

usually from the social norm.

If you are in the habit of adopting the values

that others try to impose onto you, you will

probably experience some tension, guilt,

discomfort, even loneliness at first.

That's why I set and develop the Attraction

Code. It's all about self-control, finding

true path, and letting the real 'you' emerge

from within.

And there's no need for us to impose our goals

onto you. Given the proper guidance, I know

you are able to do that for yourself.


Vin

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If you are interested in meeting, attracting and keeping a
"10", then you should read this letter.

But before anything else, let's go waaaay back...

It was in my high school, that there was a girl in my class
who was seems so perfect.

She was intelligent, cool, and so beautiful that it was hard
to look at her (and yet I couldn't stop my eyes looking)...

She was one of the popular kids, but was friendly to
everyone.

We talked occasionally, and looking back I realize we were
flirting (I was too stupid to realize at the time).

I was really wanted to ask her to senior prom... but at the
last minute I chickened out.

It was a few years later that I realized that the girl had a
crushed on me all the senior year.

I've talked to a lot of guys and this seems a pretty common
experience among them there was this ONE SPECIAL WOMAN who
you crushed on from afar, and they missed an opportunity
with her, or she broke your heart...

Ah, the hard to tame "10," a perfect girl that every guy
dream of but never seems to have it.

I have so many things to say about this so-called "10's." In
one word they are women of another "breed," but at the same
time, what makes them so is in the way they think.

To help you resolve this conundrum, and maybe help you find
that "perfect girl" for yourself, you need to understand you
own fascination with female perfection, and understand the
reality behind extremely beautiful women.

First of all, the concept of a "10" is a myth. There is no
such thing as a perfect human being. No woman is more
"valuable" just because she looks nicer than other women.

The only true "10" is the one that's perfect for you, a
woman that turns you on, whom you have great chemistry with.

Subsequently, there are a lot of 10's in the world, you just
need to have the ability to meet a bunch of women, and make
an options for yourself.

One recipe for your failure is if you treat a woman
differently than other women just because she is prettier
than the others.

Why?

Because almost all men do that.

A woman knows what you're thinking and sees you as shallow.

But there definitely are certain women that seem on another
"level" of beauty than the rest. These women get treated
much differently than other women.

This is important to understand so that you know how to deal
with these kinds of women.

Like I said, you shouldn't treat them "differently."

Let me clarify.

You shouldn't treat them BETTER than other women. But there
are a couple things you need to know.

First, she is sick of guys chasing her for her looks alone.

She wants to be appreciated for her personality more than
anything else.

Now for your own sake I'm going to give you a heads up.

There are two types of "10's."

Low self-esteem and high self-esteem.

Low self esteem 10's are pretty common. They are used to
being wanted for their looks, but they know that they didn't
EARN that attention, so they have a guilt complex.

In fact, they are in complete dumbasses or most probably
their lives have been coasted.

It may sounds not good but I call it like it is.

These women will respond to jerk behavior. They take away
and flip out their validation will and do anything to get it
back.

Anything.

(Aside from it, these women usually suck in bed and when you
get involved with them, they are in total head cases.)

Meanwhile, the high self-esteem 10's are women that have had
a taste of the elite - early from the start they realized
that high levels of society were attainable to them, they
exert an effort be intelligent, successful and make the most
of their lives.

These women know that they are just a little closer to a
great life than everyone else, and so they are motivated to
put in the extra effort.

Usually these women have good attitudes, are intelligent,
have a direction in life and have lots of interests beyond
being clubbing.

Actually, most of beautiful women I've dated didn't even go
to the club. They like to spend their evenings being with
their families, reading, or having a nice dinner with
friends (or studying if they were in college).

Another interesting thing is that these women are single for
long periods of time while in-between boyfriends. Why?

The women here have a high standards for themselves, and
this makes most guys either too intimidated to approached
and ask them out, or act too needy and pathetic around them,
it's seldom they meet another man who is at the same level
with them.

But here's the good news. You will find these women the
easiest to attract when you understand The Attraction Code.

The Attraction Code is about being a "male 10," the best man
you can be.

You will notice an interesting thing if you start to apply
the Attraction Code.

You'll get odd responses from less attractive women - they
will occasionally be rude to you because they know they're
not on your level - it's what I call the Auto-Rejection
Mechanism. Some women will try to protect themselves from
being rejected by you, by rejecting YOU first.

But you'll be amazed to see the responds of the most
beautiful and attractive women that warm right up to you as
soon as you approach them - whether on the street or in the
bar - because they can see that you are on their "level."

The girl will thinks "finally, a guy who can hang with me;
he's confident and treats me like a real person. And he's
the only guy who's actually tried to talk to me today,
instead of whistling from his car."

The Attraction Code is meant for these kinds of women. And
of course you'll have plenty of "adventures" to enjoy with
all kinds of women, but this is about having the option of
dating the hottest, highest quality women.

There are plenty of 10's out there waiting for you.

Don't spend another year of your life missing out.

Vin

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This newsletter is the Part I of the Storytelling.

To start with.. Let's defined what is storytelling and why is it important?

Storytelling is the direct means of communication when highlighting important parts of your life to the listener. Not only through context, but through delivery.

Storytelling plays a very important part in getting to know someone and the great thing about  it, is that it creates so many other subject matters to talk about and that a story is almost always followed by another story. Storytelling is powerful when it comes to meeting and holding the interest of not only women but anyone in your life.

And once you used it correctly, you can make your desirability with women sky rocket.

If you are familiar with "The Canterbury Tales" by Geoffrey Chaucer, you will see how each story is molded by the one told before it and by who told the story. (Don't worry; your stories don't have to have a rhyme scheme during the interaction like many of Chaucer's do)

So, I'm here to give you tips and secrets behind successful story telling and how to construct a powerful story (which will be covered more in depth in Part II) But before that, I want to clear up a few myths when it comes to the matter of story telling.

Myth one: Is my story have to be true and should it be about me?

That is ultimately up for you to decide but as long as you keep the conversation fun, apply the right story telling techniques, and can keep the conversation moving, then your story does not have to be true.

Even if it is clearly known that your story isn't true, as long as you kept it fun, people will be entertained and most likely run with new conversation topics developed from your stories.

I am not telling you to lie because I know that the most powerful stories are ones that are true and come from a place of emotion. However I think the biggest misconception is not whether the stories have to be true, but is more about whether or not they have to be about the story teller.

You can be so over the top with stories where the unbelievably becomes so fun that she gets involved and becomes part of a newly painted reality that you and the girl get to share and more importantly create together. (This becomes a key factor in "Role Playing" and by mastering storytelling, your creativity in "Role Play Conversations" raises but sadly, the subject of role playing will have to be saved for a later issue.)

One of the main goals of story telling is to communicate to the listener about you. Surprisingly, it is easier to convey things about yourself by HOW you tell a story, not the actual content of it.

The way you tell the story can be though the power of expressions, energy, and vivid language and you can convey to your listeners such things as, dominance, humor, interests, and over all personality.

When applying the proper techniques of a story, you should be able to repeat (plus adding things that can be interested) what you heard on the news but in such a fashion that directly makes you more interesting and displays your personality.

Myth Two: When you get better with women you become less dependent on story telling.

There is some truth to this myth in the sense that you do not go into interactions with scripted stories as much as you can in starting out. However, it is through the skills that storytelling develops that make you less dependent.

Instead of going into in interaction with a story you have made up or written down and rehearsed, you are able to share any subject in an interesting fashion that makes people listen. This skill is enhanced by applying the arts of storytelling and is one of the key reasons learning and mastering storytelling is a great way to improve not only your skills with women, but your overall social skills.

There are many reasons storytelling is important and if you are not currently utilizing storytelling then consider these following facts:

*Storytelling is a great way to save dying conversations

This problem is common among guys. At first they were great, then as they go on with the conversation slowly it dies and there it produce an awkward silence. This is a great time to bust out a story from your arsenal and revive the interaction.

Knowing you are armed with a story creates more approach confidence when entering an interaction.

People are afraid to enter interactions because of the fear of running out of things to say. By developing a great story or two and keeping them in your back pocket for when you need them creates a great since of confidence during the initial approach and can really help limit the anxiety that one gets when approaching a beautiful women. You are guaranteed that the interaction will last at least the length of your story.

*Storytelling develops stronger social skills

This is one of the main reasons why I'd like to make sure everyone masters storytelling. Through storytelling you learn to capture the entire attention of the group. Also you can have a chance to convey your personality and it gets you accustomed to doing so. The skills that are developed from strong storytelling directly carry over into your social personality that make all conversation with you more exciting and vivid. The expressiveness you show in stories ties into your future interactions and directly improves your social personality.

*Storytelling is a great way to display dominance

When you are telling a story the right way, all eyes are on you, you are the center of attention, and everyone lingers off your next word. Holding the attention of the group through storytelling puts you in a dominant frame of you being the leader of the interaction and everyone else being the listener, waiting to see where you take the group next.

What you convey through your stories is how you will be remembered.

Unlike most things you say during an interaction, a good story is unforgettable. How many times have you had someone tell you about some crazy story that one of their friends told them? Stories have been passed down for ages; it is an old custom and still exists till this day. The girl should be able to look back on the interaction and be like "Oh yeah, that was the guy who (did whatever interesting activity that relates to you)."

*Those thing that you normally couldn't say can be brought out through storytelling.

There may be some interesting details of your life that said outside the context of a story may come off as bragging. But in a story, these little details are never the subject of the story thus they remain subtle but are powerful when displaying aspects of your identity.

Now that you have an idea of why storytelling is so effective and what you should be aiming for when telling a story we are going to work on creating your very own powerful stories that cannot be ignored. All this will be covered in Part II of this newsletter, but there is an exercise I want you to do right now so you can directly apply all the tips and tactics to create an amazing story.

Exercise 1: Make a list from seven to ten moments in your life that you feel have changed or defined who you are.

Ideas: Vacations, Life/Death Experiences, an unforgettable concert or sporting event, a moment you succeeded, something funny that happened to you or a friend.

If you have a funny story then that can be humorous if you share it to others then you can feel free to include that. But even if the story does not seem major, just entertaining, the fact that you can remember it means it has a bigger effect than you realize.

This can be happy, fun, or even sad (not depressing) but we do learn through negative experiences. We will eventually cut these down to just a couple stories in Part II but for now I just want you to get into the habit of taking note of interesting experiences in your life.

Now I know that there are going to be people that say they have no interesting stories. This is just not the truth; everyone has something interesting that has shaped who they are. Do not be modest; even if it's a silly story write it down. You can't be afraid to share a story, sometimes they are hard to think of and if you really can't think of a past story, starting paying more attention to your every day life. And if you still can’t think of one then go take a vacation, you will return with hundreds of them.

So many things happen in one day that people don't even think would be a story. But every past event being told is a story. There is no excuse not to have one.

Exercise 2: Write at least 5 things that you would like people to know about you.

Ideas: Hobbies, Sports you play, instruments you play, your job, your goals, your skills and achievements.

This is going to tie into personality conveying. Think of the things that you would like any friend or new acquaintance to know about you. These are the things that directly relate to your identity and make you who you are. Do not be surprised if these things are directly related in some way to the stories you wrote down in exercise one.

Now save those list, we are going to use that in Part II of this newsletter to create some super powerful stories that you can always rely on. Also I will further go into the skills of storytelling and how to use them to make every story and conversation more interesting.

I am going to do this very exercise along with you guys so you will get to see my story end product as well.

See you on the part II of this newsletter and great ready to really take storytelling to the next level.

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There are guys that the first thing they do when they meet with woman is show her that they understand GAME .

They'll start talking about evolution, alpha males, how women will always cheat on their boyfriends, how they know that women are more intimate than men etc.

From now on, consider that as a nonsense as "The Talk of Death".

Let me explain why, and I will give you a very counter-intuitive idea of what to do instead.

The kind of things I've learned in pick-up generally will make your conversation topics very poor to women. Especially hot ones.

It might work with the anthropologist grad student, but to the woman that any man in his right mind would be attracted to, I don't think so.

There are a few major things wrong with this strategy:
(BTW - if you do happen to run with a woman that loves this kind of stuff, by all means talk about it, I'm just saying it should not be used as an ATTRACTION strategy for the majority of female population)

1. It puts a woman on the defensive. It's exactly like one country revealing it's battle plans to another country that it is at war with.

It shows that you are "thinking too much" about the dynamic, which not only is a huge turn off, but also makes her think you're going to be a mind-trip. Not good.

2. Chances are, her awareness level is about 10% of yours.

Especially if you're keeping up on my newsletters with a concept called "Stepped Awareness".

Have you ever tried played a song you loved for a friend and they just didn't get it?  

It's because their awareness didn't go through the same process that yours had - and resulted in you really liking the song...

To a woman who spends the majority of her time thinking about new shoes and clothes, celebrities and her problems with her boss, your talk about "the unique mating patters of the bonobo apes and how it relates to women in the club" is just too alien and weird for her.

This is the same reason why you'll sometimes see the biggest AFC ever with a smoking hot women. He's normal, and she can easily introduce him to her friends without embarrassment!

3. To a woman that DO understand it; what you say seems like a big deal, when it should be plainly obvious.

5-10% of women actually DO get this stuff. It's obvious, intuitive and accepted for them.

These women tend to also like women and capable of open relationships, which is generally a lot of fun.

But here's the thing - the guys they end up dating also get this stuff intuitively.

And when you get something intuitively, you'll never go out of your way to convince another person of it, or explain it like it's some huge revelation!

So the moment you get in that, the women who are most eligible for the lifestyle you're looking for, will automatically disqualify you.

So here's what to do instead...

Well - one of the most powerful techniques I use is this:

•    Understand society's programming,
•    Understand the woman's specific programming, and
•    Appear to be under the exact same programming

Keep your knowledge of reality to yourself (and of course, if you figure out anything great, I would appreciate it if you share it on my forum)

Understand this stuff and you'll see a big difference in your game .

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