Pickupartist's Blog

Have you avoided approaching a girl just because she is
talking to another guy?

Or maybe you avoided approaching a group of girls with one
or two guys with them because you feared embarrassment just
because you ASSUMED that those guys were cooler than you.

Most guys shy away from approaching women who are with other
guys for a couple reasons.

They assume that the girl is "with" the guy, and assume he's
her boyfriend.

This isn't a real reason to not talk to a woman, especially
in a bar - it's a social setting where people meet other
people. Plus - she's not his "slave" - she's a human being,
not a piece of property, so she is free to talk to whomever
she chooses.

You will extremely look confident if you approach more often
a woman who is "with" a guy and this can draw out the guy's
jealous side, making him look weak and insecure.

The second reason why guys don't approach woman who is
"with" a guy points to a deep insecurity based on a simple
misconception.

Guys assumed that the "other guy" is stronger, cooler, or
somehow more powerful than they are. Men tend to be
threatened by other men.

This is founded in an ancient survival strategy that has
been hardwired into the human brain.

In any given interaction, its often hard to tell who the
more "dominant" person is. So when a male is confronted by
another male, he doesn't know how dominant the other guy is.
The social hierarchy is very subtle, and mostly unconscious.

He doesn't know if he will be embarrassed verbally, or as
was probably common thousands of years ago, beaten up.

So it's better to play safe by assuming that the other guy
is a threat. Guys that were too bold may have won a few
confrontations, but it will take a single loss to end up
dead or exiled from the game.

And then their genes were eliminated from "race" so to
speak.

Usually the one that can lived long enough to survive and
reproduce are those guys that played it safe and avoided
confrontation.

The irony is that nowadays this hard-wired survival strategy
is the basis for most approach anxiety - men makes a false
assumptions that will lead them to avoid approaching women
unnecessarily.

The thing is, most times when you see a woman talking to
another guy in the bar or club, she's not WITH him.

They JUST MET!

For many instances I've approached a girl with a guy
thinking it was her boyfriend, then only to find out that he
was just a random dude who just approached her. Or he was
just a friend or relative.

I think of all the times I completely avoided talking to a
woman because I saw her with another guy. I regret having
missed so many opportunities. Which brings me to my first
point:

I SHOULDN'T ASSUME THEY ARE TOGETHER UNTIL I SEE A PHYSICAL
EVIDENCE. I DON'T KNOW WHAT HE MEANS TO THE GIRL.

You will know it if you try to act and find out. Just
remember that in time that they are together you should be
alert an respectful, the guy may be the insecure jealous
type and may start a confrontation.

So use your brain - just don't be stagnant in making a false
assumptions.

Another thing that I want to talk about is the idea that the
other guy can be more "dominant" than you are.

The concept of the alpha male is completely outdated. In the
caveman days, the alpha male had real power - he had access
to resources like food, and was physically stronger, so he
could beat up competitors.

But ask yourself if those powers are relevant today. Every
man with a source of income can survive on his own - if
you're reading this, you probably have access to food and
shelter. You're all set.

Plus, it's illegal to just beat people up. My point is,
physical strength is pretty much irrelevant in the modern
world.

Attacking another person will always end you up defeated
because the police always win.

If you think about it, you are LETTING RANDOM GUYS STOP YOU
FOR NO REASON!

Just excuse my French, but who is HE to say who YOU talk
to???

It was annoying - remembering all the girls I missed out on
because I was scare about some DUDE. And I get mad knowing
that the other guys are dealing with some crap!

When time comes that you're on your deathbed, you are going
to reminisce on all the things you did and didn't do. How
painful would it be to say "I didn't meet that woman because
I was worried of the other guy she's with," or "there were a
lot of beautiful that I could have enjoyed, but I didn't
even try to approached them because I saw them TALKING to
another guy.

I don't want that to be you.

So let's look at this on a deeper level. Seeing another guy
as more dominant means you don't truly understand dominance.

You see, you instantly consider yourself NOT dominant when
you're concerned with who is more dominant. There's a better
focus.

Dominant men don't think about who is dominant. To be
dominant, you must first THINK like a dominant man. So what
do dominant men think about? Whatever it is they are doing
or want.

So when you see another guy talking to a group of girls.
Focus on the girls instead of worrying who is the dominant
between the two of you.

I seldom even acknowledge other guys, because it's proven to
be just a waste of time. 9 out of 10 women don't even know
the guy - they just meet him.

Or if they do know the guy, it's because he was a friend of
ONE of the girls, and the rest barely know him.

It's rare for girls to go out with a guy they are dating -
usually they will bring a guy who is more of a
protector/friend because a guy like that is more valuable
when they go out on the town.

And also, if that guy IS with one of the girls, that means
he's NOT with the other girls - they are fair game.

When you are concerned with who's the alpha male, you are by
definition NOT the alpha male. In fact, it's questionable
whether alpha males truly exist in the modern world.

Have your focus in a USEFUL place and don't assume anything.
And don't let some random guy prevent you from enjoying YOUR
LIFE!

4 Comments

Does meeting with women seems like a WORK to you?

And how does it feel that despite of all the effort you're
doing you're still not getting an inch closer to your goal?

READ ON if you answered YES those questions.

I'm not going to lie, the dating game can be quite
frustrating.

Seeing a woman that you like but has already a boyfriend.

Everything is going smooth and fine between you and a woman
and then just suddenly she's not returning or answering your
calls.

Aside from the fact that as the guy you are the one that do
everything in order to move things forward.

YOU have to have the courage to approach.

First off, you need to keep you conversation moving, then
you have to escalate physically, you have to get her number
or much better you have to figure out a logistical way to
take her home, YOU have to plan the date.

Men are much higher than women when it comes to the
standards of behavior.

(Don't get me started on that...let's just think that girls
are allowed to get away with sub-par behavior just because
they are "pretty.")

It can be pretty exhausting, especially if you're not
"extroverted" by nature.

... I have often heard a complain about "extroversion
fatigue" from a client of mine.

I exactly knew what he meant about because I used to
struggle with it before.

Looking back I used to teach myself about pick-up, I would
go out, talking to three or four women and then find myself
mentally DRAINED.

I would have to sit down and rest!

I am working hard than I was in my full time job instead of
having some fun and relax in those situation. Now you see
how strange it is.

I would go home absolutely dead

... from SPEAKING TO WOMEN!

Does that make any sense???

And there was the overall, general dating fatigue. The
emotional ups and downs, the discouraging results, the
effort I had to make just to get women to hang out with me
or to sleep with me.

It was like a full time job and I was working overtime!

The first time I got into this game I had force myself to go
out and pickup ALL DAY for days on end. (I was a nerd, I
admit that, and had pushed it to the extreme.)

All I can say is that I have this passion in learning those
stuff (very eager for the outcome after years of sensual
frustration)

It's like a professional athletes that pushes themselves in
the gym, that is how I pursue myself.

I was forming NEW NEUROPATHWAYS and working on my muscles
that I've never done before.

If you can relate to any of this, then you are probably
working too hard in your interactions with women.

Here are the 3 reasons for this.

The first reason is may be new to you - being socially
proactive.

As I can remember, I don't have a pectoral muscles - (the
one that is right at the top of your chest just under the
clavicle that makes the chest look bigger)  before I started
lifting weights.

Actually I did, but they were so small and weak, it took a
good three weeks to even begin to feel them. Every time I
worked them out I was incredibly sore and could barely move
my arms.

And then I reached a tipping point of sorts, where the
muscle was developed enough that I could handle big amounts
of weight without all the soreness and fatigue. Your mind is
the same way.

You need to push yourself harder everyday in accordance to
the level of your skills. Because developing a new
neuro-pathways will take time.

Thinking that meeting women requires a lot of hard work can
cause a social fatigue. And that is the second reason.

It's not really so much about "fatigue" but it's more on
having an overwhelmed feeling.

When you feel overwhelmed by something, it can frazzle your
mind, and lead to a sort of depression, or discouragement,
which may feel like exhaustion if you're not deeply aware.
It's like your body is saying "ugh, it's too much work. I
give up before I can even begin."

This will hold you back from DOING ANYTHING. I suffered from
this kind of feeling when I started putting a lot of my
theories on paper. I looked at my notes and felt like I was
looking at one of those huge, complex physics equations.

It was discouraging to think that I had to do almost all the
needed things just to get a good quality of women.

The last reason for feeling exhausted in the dating and
mating game is that you are spending too much mental energy
in the wrong places, wasting your focus on stuff that isn't
useful to pickup .

I'd say 99 percent of guys get it wrong when it comes to
attracting women. The thing is, the woman usually can't
tell, because most guys learn to hide their inner "stuff"
after a few harsh rejections.

But of course we can't oppose to the reality that when a guy
is attracted to a girl, he is trying his best just to win
her or at least know if the women likes him too.

Think about the messages we get from the media, our parents
and friends, and women - it's the man's role to IMPRESS the
woman and EARN sex from her.

So Pathetic!

I hate seeing an advertisement of a guy that bumbling around
a cute girl trying to impress her, even though he looks like
a fool while the girl giggles like she's better than him
because she's a girl.

Ok, enough for that protest... my point here is that so many
guys are being screwed when it comes to the control of their
dating game.

But if a guy takes the time to adjust the way his MIND works
when it comes to attraction, it changes everything.

Once you get to highest level of your interaction with
women, you will truly be attractive to them. You just need
to be at your best both physically and emotionally.

A MAN AT HIS BEST.
 

5 Comments

Let me share with you the topic about One Night Stand

Before I don't really know how to do the one night stands,
and I started to understand how easy it is to apply after I
have used a couple of solid pickups .

"Bad belief overhaul" is what I can say when I look back on
those things that I did.

I began to believe that women wanted me and wants to get in
bed.

I am having some confidence that I was that desirable and
attractive to women eventhough I know that I am far the one
considered as good-looking .

Wanting to sleep with more women is the main goal of the 75%
of my students.

While the others have the aim to find their someone special
but I don't think these aim are mutually exclusive.

Because if you are looking for a special girl, you have meet
a lot of women so that you determine and pick the best
choice.

It would be impossible to meet your someone special if you
don't socialize and meet with a bunch of good women.

There's a very common phase that every good pickup artist
goes through when he gets started. He begins learning new
ways of thinking and behaving, and lo and behold, he starts
meeting and sleeping with a LOT OF WOMEN.

Like a kid that uses all his new powers just to have all
that he wants in the candy store.

In order for me to snap out of my old way of thinking, a
period of learning is necessary so that I can start to
internalize my new reality. That I can be attractive and
desirable to women and above all, women will be obsess to
sleep with me.

Bare in mind that it is important to have a fast and natural
sensual encounter when you are with women, for you to get
the goal in your hand.

I'm telling about a same day lays or a one-night stand.

Having a one-night 'stands at-will' can seem just as
out-of-reach as having a great girlfriend. So if you never
had a one night stand, you might be considering about it.

Actually if you know what you are doing, it will be all
easy.

But a lot of men are making a way that is too hard for
themselves, where they never be able to gain the initial
sensual experience that will lead them to feel like
"natural."

I know you want to get BETTER with woman and above of it to
MASTER THE GAME. If not you will not read this, right?

Mastery comes from within - it starts with a mindset, and
leads to external results, which then form NEW BELIEFS in
your mind.

Your new beliefs will become the foundation in building and
facing the new reality in your life, you will then naturally
attract many women without even thinking and doing fancy
lines and routines.

There's one thing you need to know when going for a
one-night stand - You cannot always bring home the hottest
girl in the place.

You can get a solid number from her, but its not a guarantee
that you can take her home because whether or not a woman is
open to going home with a guy, it varies widely in
particular night.

But there are lots of horny women that are open to get
physically fast and wants to get laid that same day or
night. All you have to do is know how to spot them in any
situation whether it is a day or night or in the club, bar
and park.

The things that I look in spotting them are in the way how
they dressed, how much make-up they put on their face and
other things that relates to how they look physically.
Remember that there is a reason why women exert a lot of
effort in order to look beautiful.

The reason is they want to be approached. Although it isn't
always true but is generally the case.

You will also know that a woman is seeking attention when
she is so loud, hyper and animated.

Lastly, another good prospect are woman that are looking
around the room more than the other girls that she's with.
Also a group of two or three women all standing around with
blank expressions, scoping the room are another prospect.

These women are obviously making themselves out there,
waiting to be notice by men.

Now you have to take this in mind -- Avoid running your
clever routines into full-stream and your cocky frame
control stuff when approaching those women.

You have to let them know that you are interested in meeting
them, A simple "hey ladies, you all look great tonight.
Special occasion?" is enough. Its just have to be light,
warming and social.

The key here is not to openly discuss getting in sensual or
that you are looking to take her home. You see, if you talk
about that, you'll put her on the spot and make her agree to
bang with you, implicitly.

Or also, build sensual tension with her, as we discuss
heavily in our workshops.

The woman will force herself  to keep distance from you
because that is against her "rules". And you need a logistic
information in order to figure out how to bring her back to
your place

The real key to all this is subtracting any overt sensual
intention, and not trying to pick her up.

You have to be willing to let go of controlling the
situation, and just enjoy yourself, while escalating
appropriately.

It may sound counter intuitive, but that's how it works.

You must trust that women wants to be in bed and there are a
lot of women in the club, bar or in any venue that wants to
get a same day lay.

Some won't, but some will, and that's why it's key that you
get a sense of what to look for, and how to proceed.

You don't want to put a lot of effort and time with the
wrong girl or to pick the right girl and then mess it up
after a very long interaction.

That's a HUGE waste of time.

0 Comments