What The Pickup Artist on VH1 Wont Tell You About Fashion 2
There was about a couple of times that I did the peacocking. I did that to see if it worked because I heard that other guys were doing it.
I felt ridiculous, and was totally incongruent with my personality when I went out.
Women pay attention to fashion and like a well-dressed man, as we all know.
When I was in my workout clothes, or was wearing something basic - like jeans and a tanktop, I noticed that some of my best pickups occurred in there.
At the same time, women definitely did not respond well to those muscled-up guys wearing revealing spandex, or super-tight shirts at the club.
This got me thinking...maybe it's not how much the clothes cost, or how flashy they are...
I guess there is something else going on.
There are two things going on. This two things must be manage or balance.
First and foremost, never seek approval from women. If a woman can tell that you are trying to impress her or make her like you, you are toast.
So if you come like you got dressed with a purpose of getting women's attention, they'll see you coming a mile a way and put up their defenses.
You DON'T WANT to look like a pick up artist.
To dress modestly and not put too much thought into it avails much.
However, you don't want to look sloppy. You want to present yourself in the best way you can.
This comes back to self-expression.
You now have sense what kind of guy you are, what your "scene" is, what you think is cool.
Do not change that.
Instead, improve it, with these simple tweaks.
Wear colors that suites to your skin tone and hair color. This isn't rocket science. You can look online or go to n upscale men's clothing store, and ask someone about this.
Next, make sure your clothes are clean, and wrinkle free, and reasonably up-to-date. A woman should not have to worry about bringing you around her friends.
Lastly, make sure your clothes fit well, meaning, they ACCENTUATE YOUR MASCULINE PHYSIQUE.
Wear shirts that narrow your waist, and square your shoulders.
Put on a pants that make your legs look long and thin.
Wear shoes that make your feet look big and well-formed.
Groom yourself - nose, neck, and ear hairs. Get a nice haircut. Shave, or don't, but figure out what looks great and take it all the way.
One other thing...
Accessories should hang off you loosely, and have the look of a small decoration that says, "yeah, I can fuck."
Use your intuition with this one. I don't want to say too much because that's a whole other topic.
What The Pickup Artist on VH1 Wont Tell You About Fashion 1
Usually it is my girlfriend who pick the clothes for me - not for my benefit...
... so that if we go out in public together she will not feel embarrassed!
If I were the one to pick my clothes, I'd rather pick the sweats and t-shirt, coupled with my old worn sneakers. I mean, I think fashion is silly.
I definitely appreciate the artistic aspect of fashion style and design. It is like a work of art when I look at a very well dressed woman, I dig that.
I kinda lose respect when a guy is "too stylish."
Don't misinterpret me, a man should present himself like he means to be taken seriously. A nice suit, good quality, well-fitting clothes are a basic of being a masculine.
But some guys take this so much.
Case in point, the obsession with "peacocking" in the pickup Community for the past several years.
It makes me cringe when I hear this term.
YOU ARE NOT A PEACOCK.
Let me explain what is "peacocking," in case you're not familiar.
There was an emergence of routine-based "game" a while ago that rely heavily on superficial techniques, status games, and over-analysis of social interactions.
This always gone in the opposite direction and I never saw the value of it.
Reason for this is that I saw how pretending to be someone other than yourself, and saying jokes and routines that other guys came up with JUST FELT WRONG.
On top of that, the FIRST FOCUS of all that strategy and game-playing was to eventually get approval from women, while making them feel insecure so they'd think you were cooler than them.
Think about the layers in the dating approach. Not only are you faking your personality because you
a) look for approval (as if girls were an authority on what makes man a man)
b) hide the truth that you're looking for approval
c) play games with women so that they will seek your approval when they feel insecure
YUCK
"Peacock," is one of the main techniques of this approach as to dress up in a really loud, ostentatious way so that women would "notice" you and want to talk to you.
Wearing a nice watch, or a necklace isn't a bad thing because some have personal meaning.
But I never do that just to make women like me.
I'm sure many guys have seen the advocates of this approach on TV shows,straining to make sense out of this hare-brained "technique."
I felt sad to the students of other pickup schools that I've encountered because these poor guys were not only nervous, clumsy, misdirected...they looked RETARDED.
So I'd like to set a record when it comes to fashion and meeting girls.
There are only few things that you need to focus when it comes to your appearance.
After knowing this stuff, you should put it out of your mind and TAKE ACTION before women can notice you.
Before moving on, I have something to expose.
(To be Continued in Part 2)
How to Shape the Woman's Behavior
There are a number of tools of shaping that are used to set a strong precedent of behavior in a woman.
Here's a Quick Question >>>
Do you remember feeling motivated in a situation with a woman, and she talked about how she loved when her boyfriend did something very specific?
Perhaps it makes you think to do the same exact thing?
-or-
Do you remember feeling motivated to answer in a way to impress the woman when she asked you if you were reliable, honest or had a good relationship with your family?
Of course... we've all been there.
Now what's important here is not what the outcome was in those situations, but only to be aware of the truth that you were emotionally compelled to behave in a certain way...
Whether your woman knew it or not (most likely she didn't) she was SHAPING you.
Hey this isn't necessarily a bad thing... For people do it to each other all the time.
But most of the time, you are encouraging a woman to behave in a way that is not aligned with your desired outcome.
So starting right now we will change that.
There are a number of ways you can start to apply shaping in your interactions with women.
And I've split them into 5 different categories.
Now don't get me wrong. For this is a huge topic, and I could literally teach an entire seminar on shaping ALONE. So right now I just want to get the seeds planted in your mind so that you can begin to grasp the higher level ideas, and start to incorporate them into your interactions.
So let's look at the five different categories of shaping.
1. Screening questions.
These questions is specifically designed to:
A) Get a woman to answer a specific way and
B) Start to behave in a manner more congruent with how she just answered you.
There are many types of screening questions, and above all you should use them in the right context.
For example, you wouldn't start a conversation with a woman with the question "Do you consider yourself to be independent?"... but it might come later on.
Screening questions are by far the least subtle and most overt out of all the shaping techniques.
They are easiest to employ right away, but because they cause a sharp emotional response, they may seem transparent and obvious to the woman.
2. Showing that you value certain behaviors or personality traits.
This is very similar to screening questions, except this time you are making a statement.
It's a little less obvious, but it is no where near as subtle as the remaining 3 techniques.
Instead of saying something like "What was the most spontaneous thing you've ever done?" (which is a screening question) You might say something like "Spontaneity is really important to me. It not only keeps things fresh and exciting, but also reminds me of our incredible freedom in life."
Because you are justifying your statement with a truism (it's hard to argue that spontaneity keeps things fresh and exciting), she cannot disagree and will be motivated to agree that spontaneity is important.
And because she's committed to saying spontaneity is important, she will now behave in a way consistent with that.
3. Setting a strong precedent through storytelling.
Now we're getting warmer.
This concept along with the next two, are very devious.
They are so devious, in fact, that women use them all the time.
It's funny actually - my sister recently sat in on a recent DiClassified Drills workshop in NYC and I was surprised to discover that she not only agreed with the effectiveness of my techniques, but also - had already used many of them naturally!
Of course this makes sense, seeing that many of my best techniques have been stolen directly from the women I know who have the very best game.
The idea in this 3rd concept is that you will tell a story that portrays what standards you expect, so that she can live up to them.
For example, you could say to a woman, very early in the interaction something like:
"One thing that is great about my friend Sarah, is that she is extremely thoughtful. Last night I mentioned that I was thinking of going shopping for a few new shirts, and not two hours later she dropped off this month's copy of GQ magazine on her way to the gym. Only problem now is, I have TOO MANY new ideas for a new outfit."
The beauty of that is, it doesn't even have to be true!
(I'm not going to make a moral decision for you here, I'm sure that you're more than capable. But for the record, these techniques have the exact same effect on a woman whether they are true or not)
4. Pointing out a desired personality trait while ignoring the undesirable.
This is classic shaping, and can be used freely to amplify existing behaviors and personality traits.
The idea is that - if you see a woman doing something (for example, drinking like crazy while out in a bar) you can comment on this in the following way.
Taking this single behavior - drinking like crazy, there are different components to it, some good, some bad.
Let's say you like the free-spirited aspect of it, but you don't like the fact that she may not have a lot of self control...
You could say:
"Wow, you're so much fun! and so-free spirited. It's cool you do things you really want to do, and don't rely for others for direction. You follow your own desires."
By pointing out behaviors, you are in fact rewarding them and amplifying that same behavior in the future.
By selecting the aspect of her behaviors you like, and calling attention to them, you are SHAPING the girl's future behavior.
(By the way, the above example is useful when going for a same-night-lay with a girl. You tell her she makes her own decisions and she'll be less likely to listen to her friends when they suggest that she shouldn't go home with you. Sneaky, but also killer in the field)
5. Reward calibration
Like for instance, giving a woman cues as to how to perceive you based on the nature of the way you reward her 'good' behavior. This is highly advanced, and I am far beyond the scope of this newsletter.
Just understand that if you have determined what you will acknowledge as "good" behavior from a woman, it is to your benefit to reward her with something you want her to work for or chase after.
Hint: It should be either affection, physicality or sex, but NOT a material or monetary. Violating this rule is the surest way to CREATE a gold digger!
(YES. Gold diggers are not born gold diggers. They are CREATED on a case by case basis by the men in their lives. See a woman as a gold digger, and that my friend, is what she will be.)
So be good, and use these concepts accordingly
Concept of Shaping the Behavior of a Woman
Have you felt the motivation to perhaps DO THE SAME EXACT THING?
-or-
Have you ever been with a woman, and she asked you if you were reliable, honest or had a good relationship with your family?
Have you felt during that time being motivated to answer in a way to IMPRESS HER?
Of course... we've all been there.
What's important however is not what the outcome was in those situations, but only to be AWARE of the fact that you were EMOTIONALLY COMPELLED to behave in a certain way...
Whether your woman knew it or not (most likely, she DIDN'T) she was SHAPING you.
But don't get me wrong, this isn't necessarily a bad thing...
People do it to each other all the time.
Right now, I will be sharing with you the concept called SHAPING.
There are a number of STRONG tools that are used in SHAPING the behavior of a woman.
Most of the time, you are encouraging a woman to behave in a way that is NOT aligned with your desired outcome.
And that's what we want to change STARTING RIGHT NOW.
There are a number of ways you can start to employ shaping in your interactions with women.
And I've split them into 5 different categories.
Now don't get me wrong.
This is a HUGE topic, and I could literally teach an entire seminar on shaping ALONE.
But right now I just want to get the seeds planted in your mind so that you can begin to grasp the higher level ideas, and start to add it into your interactions.
So let's look at the five different categories of shaping.
1. Screening questions.
Screening questions are questions specifically designed to:
A) Get a woman to answer a specific way and
B) Start to behave in a manner more congruent with how she just answered you.
There are many types of screening questions, and above all you should use them in the right context.
For example, you wouldn't start a conversation with a woman with the question "Do you consider yourself to be independent?"... but it might come later on.
Screening questions are by far the least subtle and most OVERT out of all the shaping techniques.
They are easiest to employ RIGHT away, but because they cause a sharp emotional response, they may seem transparent and obvious to the woman.
2. Showing that you value certain behaviors or personality traits.
This is very similar to screening questions, except this time you are making a statement.
It's a little less obvious, but it is no where near as subtle as the remaining 3 techniques.
Instead of saying something like "What was the most spontaneous thing you've ever done?" (which is a screening question) You might say something like "Spontaneity is really important to me. It not only keeps things fresh and exciting, but also reminds me of our incredible freedom in life."
Because you are JUSTIFYING your statement with a truism (it's hard to argue that spontaneity keeps things fresh and exciting), she cannot disagree and will be motivated to agree that spontaneity is important.
And because she's committed to saying spontaneity is important, she will now behave in a way CONSISTENT with that.
3. Setting a strong precedent through storytelling.
Now we're getting warmer.
This technique, along with the next two, are VERY devious.
They are so devious, in fact, that women use them ALL THE TIME.
It's funny actually - my sister recently sat in on a recent DiClassified Drills workshop in NYC and I was surprised to discover that she not only agreed with the effectiveness of my techniques, but also - had already used many of them NATURALLY!
Of course this makes sense, seeing that many of my BEST techniques have been stolen DIRECTLY from the women I know who have the VERY BEST game.
The idea behind this 3rd concept is that you will tell a story that DEMONSTRATES what standards you expect, so that she can live up to them.
For example, you could say to a woman, very early in the interaction something like:
"One thing that is great about my friend Sarah, is that she is extremely thoughtful. Last night I mentioned that I was thinking of going shopping for a few new shirts, and not two hours later she dropped off this month's copy of GQ magazine on her way to the gym. Only problem now is, I have TOO MANY new ideas for a new outfit."
The beauty of that is, it doesn't even have to be true!
(I'm not going to make a moral decision for you here, I'm sure that you're more than capable. But for the record, these techniques have the exact same effect on a woman whether they are true or not)
4. Pointing out a desired personality trait while ignoring the undesirable.
This is classic shaping, and can be used freely to amplify existing behaviors and personality traits.
The idea is that - if you see a girl doing something (for example, drinking like CRAZY while out in a bar) you can comment on this in the following way.
Taking this single behavior - drinking like crazy, there are different components to it, some good, some bad.
Let's say you like the free-spirited aspect of it, but you don't like the fact that she may not have a lot of self control...
You could say:
"Wow, you're so much fun! and so-free spirited. It's cool you do things you really want to do, and don't rely for others for direction. You follow your OWN desires."
By pointing out behaviors, you are in fact REWARDING them and AMPLIFYING that same behavior
in the future.
By selecting the ASPECT of her behaviors you like, and calling attention to them, you are SHAPING her future behavior.
(By the way, the above example is useful when going for a same-night-lay with a girl. You tell her she makes her own decisions and she'll be less likely to listen to her friends when they suggest that she shouldn't go home with you. Sneaky, but also KILLER in the field)
5. Reward calibration i.e. giving a woman cues as to how to perceive you based on the nature of the way you reward her 'good' behavior. This is highly advanced, and I am far beyond the scope of this newsletter.
Just understand that if you have determined what you will acknowledge as "good" behavior from a woman, it is to your benefit to REWARD her with something you want her to WORK for or CHASE AFTER.
Hint: It should be either affection, physicality or sleeping with her, and NEVER material or monetary. Violating this rule is the surest way to CREATE a gold digger!
(YES. Gold diggers are not born gold diggers. They are CREATED on a case by case basis by the men in their lives. See a woman as a gold digger, and that my friend, is what she will be.)
Be good, and use these techniques in the right way.
Part II: Components of Storytelling
Here is now the "Part II" of the storytelling.
And now that you are all excited to start using storytelling and understand why it is so powerful we are going to work on constructing your very own epics!
As a recap in “Part I” we studied about why storytelling is important and how it can improve your game immensely.
In "Part I" there were two things I asked of you
One was to make a list of 7-10 moments in your life worth sharing, and the other was to write down 5 things about your identity that you want people to know about you.
We are going to start out working with these things.
First lets take out the 7-10 story ideas and select 5 solid ideas from it, cross off ones that you think may not seem to interesting to other people or ones that were "you kind of had to be there" stories.
Now reflect on that 5 solid ideas and then just focus on constructing 3 solid stories so you can go out and start using them immediately in your story. Consider those that you feel the most interested in sharing with other people and which ones do you think could captivate and relate to your audience.
For now, your main motive with these stories are girls, so focus on which ones you think a girl more interested in hearing. (Any girls can become interested in any story if delivered properly, but if you have a good story about you watching dirty videos and eating pizza, it may be better left for the guys)
Also feel free to ask your friends about which story topic they would be more interested in hearing to help narrow it down to 3 solid concepts.
And I'm sure there were still some of you out there that were to modest to come up with 10 ideas and only got around three, so I guess that makes your job easier.
As I said I would do this exercise along with you, however, taking all 3 of my stories will take too long so we are just going to use one of my story topic and build it from the ground up through the techniques I show you.
Now I am going to give you all the information on storytelling that I know and jot this story down from scratch (This actually happened to me the other day, so I figure this is a good example)
"So the other day me and my friends were at the club voodoo and I am going around making some new friends and having a good time. Well this one guy somehow works his way into my group but then ends up not leaving us alone all night, and he was a really annoying person that you just don't want to talk to. He kept making every interaction in the club awkward and would not leave until he actually gets a hint and goes home."
Okay, pretty annoying story...I know, but we can turn this into something interesting.
First we need to understand the 3 components of a good story.
The first component, is "The Hook Question"
Hook question is the line you deliver to introduce your story and is used to captivate the group. The object of this is to make sure everyone in the group you are telling the story gets involved.
When using the hook question make sure you have the attention of EVERYONE in the group before you start going into the story, if one person is not paying attention and they tune in halfway through your story, they are going to have no idea what is going and potentially pull the entire group away.
Make eye contact and get a response or at least a nod from every member of the group before beginning your story.
There are two different types of hook questions.
An open ended hook question and a yes or no hook question.
I feel open ended hook question are better because it gets your audience more involved with the story you are about to tell, but a yes or no one is good cause it gets you right into the story.
An example of open ended hook question would be "How do you deal with people who you just want to leave you alone?"
And an example for the yes or no hook question would be "Have you ever been to club voodoo?"
So let's add a hook questions to the story... (Find a hook question for your example stories as well)
For my story I will use open ended hook questions. So in the interaction I would say:
Me: "Hey guys...how do you deal with people when you just can't get them to leave you alone?!"
Group: "blah blah"
Me: "Yeah that's interesting so check this out...the other day I am at club voodoo...(rest of story)
Now that you have the hook question down, we will the component that will demonstrate aspects of identity.
So the next step is to demonstrate personality.
There are a number of ways of doing this but for now lets go to our list of 5 things that you want to convey in your identity. Try to fit as many into the story as you can.
My 5 things were:
I am interested in video and photography
I have a good sense of humor
I am a musician
I am a very social person
I have a high and fun energy
Now try to at least fit 3 of your 5 things into the story, but if its awkward and seems out of place then just get at least 1 or 2 in. You need one though, but the very manner you deliver the story may display a lot about yourself.
Other ways to demonstrates personality is to act out your characters. Bring your stories into life.
Another important aspect to display personality in your stories is by speeding up your voice during moments of excitement and slowing it down during intense moments to create tension.
You should always know how to build up tension to bring excitement or your audience will have a feeling of lack of resolution but that is the last component of a story that I will get into shortly.
Speeding up, pauses, and slowing down your voice is hard for me to sow you through a newsletter, but when you recite your stories out loud you will gain a natural since of where each belongs and will improve through reactions with your audience.
So now I am going to rewrite my story as it stands to demonstrates my personality...
Me: "Hey guys...how do you deal with people when you just caaaaannt (exaggerated can't to show frustration with the situation and convey more personality) get them to leave you alone?!"
Group: "blah blah"
Me: "Yeah that's interesting so check this out...the other day I am at club voodoo and I walk in with a group of my friends and random people we met on the way (social) and there is a decent amount of people in the club, we are all having a great time (fun) and meeting lots of cool new people (social).
Well this one guy somehow works his into my "group" (putting finger quotes around it) and he just has this vibe. Like he is so out of place, he was walking around with a Harley Davison Motorcycle hat on and like this tainted banana colored polo (Painting this scene gets them laughing and displays humor and some understand of social norms and fashion.)
So my friends and I keep trying to away from him but he just won't back down, he would just follow us everywhere we went, buzzing around like a mosquito..(pause)..with a really bad taste in clothing (humor)...you would think he could get the hint when we were practically jogging away (act out slight jogging motion).
Eventually he finally goes away and we start to have a fun night again.
And as you notice just kind of ended with no resolution.
So lets take the last component of story. The punch line.
A punch line is often used for humor and ties up the story. Its biggest importance is to let the audience know it's over. It can be one line or much more...
To deliver the punch line successfully to your story, you need to create a dramatic build up by slowing down your words and then once the comic relief or resolution comes, you speed the conversation back up.
The punch line can be a small extension of the story to bring further resolution to the issue. This is where you can get creative and give some lamer stories a much cooler ending.
The actual ending to my story involves the creepy guy going into the bathroom, some guy that was annoyed by him jokingly bumping into him while the creepy was using the urinal, and the creepy guy pissed on the front of his pants, got embarrassed and left.
Now, first off, it was kind of rude on that one guy's part and I don't want to associate myself with friends like that. Also...a guy pissing on himself is an odd thing to share during the initial interaction.
So I am going to do a little story morphing by combining a similar, less gross incident that happened that night.
Nothing wrong with changing up some incidents if it makes things more entertaining...after all...it's a "STORY"
So the updated version of the story with the new punch line goes like this:
Me: "Hey guys...how do you deal with people when you just caaaaannt get them to leave you alone?!"
Group: "blah blah"
Me: "Yeah that's interesting so check this out...the other day I am at Club Voodoo and I walk in with a group of my friends and random people we met on the way and there is a decent amount of people in the club, we are all having a great time and meeting lots of cool new people. Well this one guy somehow works his into my "group" and he just has this vibe. Like he is so out of place, he was walking around with a Harley Davison Motorcycle hat on and like this tainted banana colored polo. So my friends and I keep trying to avoid him but he just won't back down, he would just follow us everywhere we went, buzzing around like a mosquito...with a really bad taste in clothing...you would think he could get the hint when we were practically jogging away. Anyway...my friends and I get away from him and are on the top floor and we make a super tall pyramid out of energy drink cans. (Illustrate structure with arms). Then all of a sudden, the creepy guy weasels his way onto the floor and sits down at our table...and like a jackass he tries to add a can to the structure. (Start slowing things down for the punch line) Little did he know...that although the Red Bull on the top of the structure was opened...it was full...so this guy tries to add his can to the top then BAM!...................the whole structure falls right into his lap and the filled soda can pours all over his crotch! It looked like he wet his pants! His face turns beat red and he just runs downstairs and we assume he left the club cause we didn't see him again...I don't know what the big deal is...I thought it was hilarious! (Final punch line, they know the story is over)
Having done these three steps to your stories is a great way to get great stuff on your hands. But there is still to add to sprinkle your story and I'm pretty sure you are going to want to your story someday.
The is creating check in points.
Check in points are mini questions you throw into your story throughout to make sure you have the audiences full attention. It gets them more involved.
Examples are "That ever happen to you?" "Don't you hate when that happens?" "You know what I mean?"
Just make sure they sounds not obvious or like you are taking time out for them to go into detail about your check in point question.
Another good way is to compare aspects of your story to the current situation you are in. ex. "Kind of like that over there" "Reminds me of her (point to person)."
You should at least have two check in points near the start and in the middle. If you are doing everything right, your audience will be captivated and waiting for the build up of the punch line so you won't need one near the end.
If you start to see someone looking away, throw one out to regain focus.
An example in a passage of my story would be:
"Like he is so out of place, he was walking around with a Harley Davison Motorcycle hat on and like this tainted banana colored polo. You know when someone is clearly just lost and not sure what he or she is doing....kind of like that guy over there (point to someone similar)."
So that's it... and watch for the another newsletter.
Part III of Story Telling Techniques
This technique really helps paint the picture and get your audience more interested in your story. It ties back into displaying your personality and bringing your characters to life.
Example for this would be like "My friend and I were walking over there like this... (lock arm in arm)."
Arm and arm there is the touch. If you are using something like that as an example, you would only do it for that short instance, not tell the rest of the story arm and arm. And remember to only hold whatever touch you are displaying for the appropriate part of the story.
Continue telling your story while initiating the touch, and not looking at where you are touching or pausing and waiting for any form of reaction. The point there is for you not making things look obvious.
An example I would use in my story is when describing his weirdness would be "I would be talking with some of my friends and he would come up from behind me, stick his arm around me like this (put arm on girls shoulder and pull her in, give her a little shake, showing exactly what he did to me).
Another fun thing to sprinkle into your stories is subtle hints that raise your desirability. These include mentioning other women in your life, having special social privileges, being the leader of your group, and doing things that make you stand out.
I do this often mentioning other women in my stories. You can do this by changing the word "friend" to "girlfriend" or name dropping by saying "my friends Lisa and Sarah" anything along those lines.
Now these seems not needed but in some cases can add a special flare to your stories. They are just minor details and should never be the focus of your story. But can very tasteful ways to brag in your stories... without actually bragging.
To make them theme authentic, do not provide an explanation for them. If part of your story involves you hooking up with multiple people, don't provide an explanation for it, instead just keep talking, it comes off as a perfectly natural thing that is no big deal.
Once you have thrown in all these fun storytelling tactics it time to give it the once over.
Eliminate all unnecessary content and make sure your story is moving along and does not drag out. That is the biggest problem people make, they drag their stories out too long about things that don't affect the overall story. Be sure to eliminate redundancies.
A masterful storyteller could captivate the audience for 20 minutes. But for now,aim and focus on getting 2-3 solid minutes of your audiences attention.
How much you share all depends on how your storytelling skills develop.
Remember to look for clues of people fading out so you know when to speed things up and get to the punch line.
Always keep an eye contact to your audience, this will help hold their attention.
If we look back at the original example of...
"So the other day I am at club voodoo with my friends and I am going around making some new friends and having a good time. Well this one guy somehow works his way into my group but then ends up not leaving us alone all night, and he was a really annoying person that you just don't want to talk to. He kept making every interaction in the club awkward and would not leave until he actually gets a hint and goes home."
By applying all the techniques that we had learned, we can change this dramatically.
So here is the FINAL revised version of my story:
Me: "Hey guys...how do you deal with people when you just caaaaannt get them to leave you alone?!"
Group: "blah blah"
Me: "Yeah that's interesting so check this out...the other day I am at Club Voodoo, you ever been? (Check in point)...Cool, anyway I walk in with a group of my friend Lisa and some friends she brought along. There is a decent amount of people in the club, we are all having a great time and meeting lots of cool new people.
Well this one guy somehow works his into my "group" and he just has this annoying vibe. Like he is so out of place, he was walking around with a Harley Davison Motorcycle hat on and like this tainted banana colored polo. You know when someone just clearly does not belong and seems out of place... kind of like that guy (Put arm on person from audiences shoulder and point to someone else outside the audience)
So me and my friends keep trying to avoid him but he just won't back down, he would just follow us everywhere we went, buzzing around like a mosquito...with a really bad taste in clothing...like you have no idea how bad it was, I would be talking to some of Lisa's friends and he would come up, stick his head between us and wrap us both in his arms and give us a little shake like this...(Do exactly what he did on them) And the worst part is he had this nasty...thick breath....oh it was terrible.
(Random Story Telling Tip: Appeal to the senses, especially the smell, it is the least addressed and most memorable.) Anyway... my friends and I try to get away by going to the VIP floor and we have been drinking the free energy drinks all night and made a super tall pyramid out of cans. (Illustrate structure with arms).
Then all of a sudden, the creepy guy weasels his way onto the floor and sits down at our table... and like a jackass he tries to add a can to the structure. (Start slowing things down for the punch line)
Little did he know... that although the Red Bull on the top of the structure was opened... it was full... so this guy tries to add his can to the top then BAM!...................the whole structure falls right into his lap and the filled soda can pours all over his crotch!
(Create dramatic spill scene around your crotch, getting the girl to look there, although sneaky, creates lots of subtle sensual messages)
It looked like he wet his pants!
His face turns beat red and he just runs downstairs and we assume he left the club cause we didn't see him again... I don't know what the big deal is...I thought it was hilarious!
(Share a good laugh with your audience, initiate more touch if you so please, initiating touch during laughter is very powerful)
Before I end my newsletter, I'll be leaving you with some advanced story telling tips.:
- Start your stories at the end. If you ever saw the movie Fight Club you will notice how you are caught up into the story right from the beginning because you are curious to see how Edward Norton's character got himself in such a dangerous situation. You can start your story at the end then build up to really captivate your audience.
-If you are telling the same story, increase vocabulary in it, use powerful verbs and adjectives to bring the story to life.
-Always be painting a picture, appeal to all the senses when possible.
-The more emotion you put into a story the better, the more emotion you show in a story, the more mistakes you can make because your emotion and commitment to the story covers all that up.
-Avoid pauses like "ummmm and ugghhh" everyone has a bad habit when they stumble in there stories.
-Do not memorize your stories. You don't want to sound like you are reading from a script, you want it to seem natural. It is possible to be too good at telling your stories and then it is almost like the listener is watching a scripted play. Just understand the concepts and events of your story, there should always be some slight differences when you tell your story. Practice telling it...but don't become a scripted narrator.
-Lastly and most important is....
Do not tell your stories AT your audience...tell your stories TO your audience.
Make sure your audience get involved in your story and as you are telling your story, keep your eyes open for cues in the interaction you do not always have time to look for.
Use these cues to find what points of your stories get certain reactions, and use them to move the story along. You pick up on different things if you are telling a story you know well, this is another way storytelling continues to improve your game
Dating Tips for Creating Relationships
And that is quite depressing.
There are so many women that has the ability to be a great girlfriend.
But I had my brain up my butt.
...maybe that's a little harsh.
But either way it comes down to TWO distinct problems:
First, I was working hard to prove something to myself. I was still a recovering nerd but I've never fully recovered. And I've stopped trying to recover. And that's what's made me move past this "proving myself" thing.
I've accepted what I am.
Sure, I like video games and comic books.
But...
Do you believe girls have cooler interests?
Is shopping, getting drunk and Myspace are cooler than what I'm into?
It's all relative.
Self-acceptance is what really matters.
A girl won't accept you if you don't accept yourself first.
Can you imagine a woman wanting to be your girlfriend when you don't like yourself?
She will HATE your company and not want to be around you.
Because you can't really like a woman, if you don't like yourself. And if you do like her, but not yourself, then you look like a total loser. And who do you think wants to date a loser?
Although it sounds easy, self-acceptance is extremely rare. How often do you hear people say, "I don't care what anyone thinks of me!"
Based on my experience, almost all DON'T ACCEPT themselves completely.
And I am one of them.
How you accept yourself is how women find you attractive, and people likes to be around you.
It may be hard to completely accept yourself. There is an old beliefs creep in and saying you are not enough, that you must be more than yourself now.
But the degree to which you banish these thoughts is the degree to which your game becomes better.
Because game is really about being yourself, not doubting yourself. And game doesn't stop after your opener, after "mating", after a few dates. It never stops.
Because it is you.
You are not separated from your game.
The "game" is the degree to which you can express who you really are. Your game IS YOU.
Maybe you think "But I'm nervous and insecure and awkward." I don't agree. That's not you.
That is the indistinct you.
That is you trying to come out, but the one that stop you from expressing what you really want to express is your ego and your old mental habits.
Before I go deeper to that, I want to skip to the second reason why I couldn't keep women around after I slept with them.
I'm not conscious about shaping.
Knowing what you want is really just an extension of self-acceptance. And shaping is all about knowing what YOU want. If you don't know what you want, you can't shape.
In fact, it is self-acceptance, applied to others. You encourage women to do to you what you like if you know what you like also.
As you can see, women are very flexible. They have a lot of things that they can expose to a guy. Men usually tell women to be selfish, mean, and act like they are better than the man.
But it's not really her fault. She's just doing what she's told. Women are always looking to men to get a sense of reality.
So if you approach and treat a woman like a pedestal, she will act accordingly.
If you approach a woman and treat her like she's lucky that you approached her, she will feel that way.
Also if you treat her like she should stay in your life and nurture your lifestyle after mating with her, she will do so.
We go into this heavily in our workshops. I've developed lots of ways to shape a woman to be EXACTLY the kind of woman I want in my life.
And each woman is different. For example, I may want one woman to be just a mating partner. I may want another woman to be a sugar mama! I may want another one to be a girlfriend. It all depends on what you want.
I remember all the crappy, frustrating relationships I used to have.
Also I think all the hookups I had as a young pickup artist, and how frustrating it was not see those women again.
But when I began to accept myself and analyze what I wanted, it all came together.
The Attraction Code is all about figuring out who you are, accepting and cultivating your character, and then applying that to the women you want to meet, sleep with, and date.
If you are struggling with self acceptance and letting the real YOU shine through The Attraction Code is a MUST HAVE.
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Dating Tips for Men: Time Management
...OR your big enemy.
A lot of time, a man can feel like a slave to
his natural need to procreate.
Then there goes a common quote, "He thinks
with his... You know."
Well it can be hard to NOT think that way if
you aren't physically satisfied.
But men are also goal oriented.
We make our actions to achieve things and
influence the world in a positive way.
I've personally faced one of the biggest
challenges and it is balancing the two - my
carnal obsession and achieving my goals.
When you are single, dating can consume a lot
of time. Women will suck away at your time if
you don't know what you're doing.
Before you know it, you are spending hours in
the park, feeding the birds and cuddling...now
there's nothing wrong with spending quality
time with your girlfriend, AS LONG AS YOU
DON'T compromise YOUR GOALS IN LIFE.
Goals take time, likewise to women.
In fact, it's a woman's NATURE to get the
man's time - it's her way of getting you to
invest in her. If she gets pregnant there's a
lesser chance of you leaving her (this comes
from our caveman days, so to speak).
It is really tricky to manage your time with
women. You see, most men want to give their
time to women. By nature men are "givers."
They like to please women, protect them, and
give them good feelings.
Guys have also a urges that can completely
take over your thinking.
Both of these things can get in the way of you
making the most of your life, your time.
I want you take a moment and ask this to
yourself, "WHAT DO I REALLY WANT TO GIVE TO
WOMEN?"
Now I know it wasn't about "money," or
"control over my life," or "lots of my free
time."
It was probably something like "good feelings,
sexual pleasure, relaxation, excitement,
feeling of safety, make her smile or feel good
about herself, etc."
I think men have problems with how they use
their time with women in two ways.
First, they think that the gifts they REALLY
want to give aren't that valuable, so they
overcompensate with other stuff - like
spending too much time or money on a woman.
Second, men think that they are "getting"
something valuable when a girl spends time
with them.
Guys was brainwash by the society to believe
that women are a prize to attain, and that
there's some inherent value in a pretty face.
It's not TRUE!
The best thing is to see women for what they
are, nothing more, nothing less. They are
cute, sometimes fun, but ultimately not that
important, AND THEY CAN'T COMPLETE YOUR LIFE!
Now it is really hard to break out of this
mental prison of feeling inferior to women.
Your mental habits are subtle and hard to
notice because you've been doing them for
years.
Young men are taught that their urges is
crude and silly, and that it is just a favor
that women ALLOWS them to mate with them.
There's a syndrome that I call a "doofus dad"
syndromeThere's another societal factor going
on, . In almost every TV commercial and
sitcom, the "dad" or "boyfriend" or "husband"
is a dopey, incompetent goof, and the
mom/daughter/girlfriend/w ife has to use her
superior intelligence to fix the situation.
This leads to the perception that women are
"better," and thus, their time is more
valuable than yours.
If your time is not so valuable, then you will
feel obligated to give her LOTS OF IT.
But here's the thing - you won't be present
for most of that time, if you are giving a
woman too much time. You will be distracted,
resentful, you will give her your "half-assed"
attention.
I just realize this after analyzing lots of
dates I went on women.
After that I started to give my FULL ATTENTION
to women even though I'm only giving a smaller
amounts of my time.
Aside from making our time better, this
creates a VAST ATTRACTION because I left women
craving more.
Now my girlfriends can't get enough of me - in
fact, I don't GIVE THEM "enough."
Ask you know, "enough" would mean,
"overexposure" to me, and women can't be
pulled to what they already have.
The proper way to manage your time is by being
HONEST. And I don't recommend you to play
games with women and pretend to be busy or
whatever.
No need of games, just be real with the girl -
and don't spend more time that you want.
Enjoy whatever free time you have with women
but still with focus on your personal goals.
Be the man on the go.
Now in a short amount of time it requires that
you are able to meet a lot of women, which
I'll have to cover in another newsletter.
It's not good to see that men waste their
lives chasing and "putting up with" girls, and
then they are left out ALONE.
Remember that women aren't property that you
can keep or somehow bring with you when you
die.
It doesn't mean that you can "keep" the women
if you invest all your time with her.
One more thing here - if you start being
honest with the amount of time you are willing
give to a woman, you may feel GUILTY.
It's either a girl will try to make you feel
guilty, or you will feel it on your own. This
is ok, it just means you have a weak focus.
If you are following your true ways, it will
usually from the social norm.
If you are in the habit of adopting the values
that others try to impose onto you, you will
probably experience some tension, guilt,
discomfort, even loneliness at first.
That's why I set and develop the Attraction
Code. It's all about self-control, finding
true path, and letting the real 'you' emerge
from within.
And there's no need for us to impose our goals
onto you. Given the proper guidance, I know
you are able to do that for yourself.
Vin
Pick Up Artist Secrets: Attracting a
"10", then you should read this letter.
But before anything else, let's go waaaay back...
It was in my high school, that there was a girl in my class
who was seems so perfect.
She was intelligent, cool, and so beautiful that it was hard
to look at her (and yet I couldn't stop my eyes looking)...
She was one of the popular kids, but was friendly to
everyone.
We talked occasionally, and looking back I realize we were
flirting (I was too stupid to realize at the time).
I was really wanted to ask her to senior prom... but at the
last minute I chickened out.
It was a few years later that I realized that the girl had a
crushed on me all the senior year.
I've talked to a lot of guys and this seems a pretty common
experience among them there was this ONE SPECIAL WOMAN who
you crushed on from afar, and they missed an opportunity
with her, or she broke your heart...
Ah, the hard to tame "10," a perfect girl that every guy
dream of but never seems to have it.
I have so many things to say about this so-called "10's." In
one word they are women of another "breed," but at the same
time, what makes them so is in the way they think.
To help you resolve this conundrum, and maybe help you find
that "perfect girl" for yourself, you need to understand you
own fascination with female perfection, and understand the
reality behind extremely beautiful women.
First of all, the concept of a "10" is a myth. There is no
such thing as a perfect human being. No woman is more
"valuable" just because she looks nicer than other women.
The only true "10" is the one that's perfect for you, a
woman that turns you on, whom you have great chemistry with.
Subsequently, there are a lot of 10's in the world, you just
need to have the ability to meet a bunch of women, and make
an options for yourself.
One recipe for your failure is if you treat a woman
differently than other women just because she is prettier
than the others.
Why?
Because almost all men do that.
A woman knows what you're thinking and sees you as shallow.
But there definitely are certain women that seem on another
"level" of beauty than the rest. These women get treated
much differently than other women.
This is important to understand so that you know how to deal
with these kinds of women.
Like I said, you shouldn't treat them "differently."
Let me clarify.
You shouldn't treat them BETTER than other women. But there
are a couple things you need to know.
First, she is sick of guys chasing her for her looks alone.
She wants to be appreciated for her personality more than
anything else.
Now for your own sake I'm going to give you a heads up.
There are two types of "10's."
Low self-esteem and high self-esteem.
Low self esteem 10's are pretty common. They are used to
being wanted for their looks, but they know that they didn't
EARN that attention, so they have a guilt complex.
In fact, they are in complete dumbasses or most probably
their lives have been coasted.
It may sounds not good but I call it like it is.
These women will respond to jerk behavior. They take away
and flip out their validation will and do anything to get it
back.
Anything.
(Aside from it, these women usually suck in bed and when you
get involved with them, they are in total head cases.)
Meanwhile, the high self-esteem 10's are women that have had
a taste of the elite - early from the start they realized
that high levels of society were attainable to them, they
exert an effort be intelligent, successful and make the most
of their lives.
These women know that they are just a little closer to a
great life than everyone else, and so they are motivated to
put in the extra effort.
Usually these women have good attitudes, are intelligent,
have a direction in life and have lots of interests beyond
being clubbing.
Actually, most of beautiful women I've dated didn't even go
to the club. They like to spend their evenings being with
their families, reading, or having a nice dinner with
friends (or studying if they were in college).
Another interesting thing is that these women are single for
long periods of time while in-between boyfriends. Why?
The women here have a high standards for themselves, and
this makes most guys either too intimidated to approached
and ask them out, or act too needy and pathetic around them,
it's seldom they meet another man who is at the same level
with them.
But here's the good news. You will find these women the
easiest to attract when you understand The Attraction Code.
The Attraction Code is about being a "male 10," the best man
you can be.
You will notice an interesting thing if you start to apply
the Attraction Code.
You'll get odd responses from less attractive women - they
will occasionally be rude to you because they know they're
not on your level - it's what I call the Auto-Rejection
Mechanism. Some women will try to protect themselves from
being rejected by you, by rejecting YOU first.
But you'll be amazed to see the responds of the most
beautiful and attractive women that warm right up to you as
soon as you approach them - whether on the street or in the
bar - because they can see that you are on their "level."
The girl will thinks "finally, a guy who can hang with me;
he's confident and treats me like a real person. And he's
the only guy who's actually tried to talk to me today,
instead of whistling from his car."
The Attraction Code is meant for these kinds of women. And
of course you'll have plenty of "adventures" to enjoy with
all kinds of women, but this is about having the option of
dating the hottest, highest quality women.
There are plenty of 10's out there waiting for you.
Don't spend another year of your life missing out.
Vin
Secrets Behind a Successful Storyteller
To start with.. Let's defined what is storytelling and why is it important?
Storytelling is the direct means of communication when highlighting important parts of your life to the listener. Not only through context, but through delivery.
Storytelling plays a very important part in getting to know someone and the great thing about it, is that it creates so many other subject matters to talk about and that a story is almost always followed by another story. Storytelling is powerful when it comes to meeting and holding the interest of not only women but anyone in your life.
And once you used it correctly, you can make your desirability with women sky rocket.
If you are familiar with "The Canterbury Tales" by Geoffrey Chaucer, you will see how each story is molded by the one told before it and by who told the story. (Don't worry; your stories don't have to have a rhyme scheme during the interaction like many of Chaucer's do)
So, I'm here to give you tips and secrets behind successful story telling and how to construct a powerful story (which will be covered more in depth in Part II) But before that, I want to clear up a few myths when it comes to the matter of story telling.
Myth one: Is my story have to be true and should it be about me?
That is ultimately up for you to decide but as long as you keep the conversation fun, apply the right story telling techniques, and can keep the conversation moving, then your story does not have to be true.
Even if it is clearly known that your story isn't true, as long as you kept it fun, people will be entertained and most likely run with new conversation topics developed from your stories.
I am not telling you to lie because I know that the most powerful stories are ones that are true and come from a place of emotion. However I think the biggest misconception is not whether the stories have to be true, but is more about whether or not they have to be about the story teller.
You can be so over the top with stories where the unbelievably becomes so fun that she gets involved and becomes part of a newly painted reality that you and the girl get to share and more importantly create together. (This becomes a key factor in "Role Playing" and by mastering storytelling, your creativity in "Role Play Conversations" raises but sadly, the subject of role playing will have to be saved for a later issue.)
One of the main goals of story telling is to communicate to the listener about you. Surprisingly, it is easier to convey things about yourself by HOW you tell a story, not the actual content of it.
The way you tell the story can be though the power of expressions, energy, and vivid language and you can convey to your listeners such things as, dominance, humor, interests, and over all personality.
When applying the proper techniques of a story, you should be able to repeat (plus adding things that can be interested) what you heard on the news but in such a fashion that directly makes you more interesting and displays your personality.
Myth Two: When you get better with women you become less dependent on story telling.
There is some truth to this myth in the sense that you do not go into interactions with scripted stories as much as you can in starting out. However, it is through the skills that storytelling develops that make you less dependent.
Instead of going into in interaction with a story you have made up or written down and rehearsed, you are able to share any subject in an interesting fashion that makes people listen. This skill is enhanced by applying the arts of storytelling and is one of the key reasons learning and mastering storytelling is a great way to improve not only your skills with women, but your overall social skills.
There are many reasons storytelling is important and if you are not currently utilizing storytelling then consider these following facts:
*Storytelling is a great way to save dying conversations
This problem is common among guys. At first they were great, then as they go on with the conversation slowly it dies and there it produce an awkward silence. This is a great time to bust out a story from your arsenal and revive the interaction.
Knowing you are armed with a story creates more approach confidence when entering an interaction.
People are afraid to enter interactions because of the fear of running out of things to say. By developing a great story or two and keeping them in your back pocket for when you need them creates a great since of confidence during the initial approach and can really help limit the anxiety that one gets when approaching a beautiful women. You are guaranteed that the interaction will last at least the length of your story.
*Storytelling develops stronger social skills
This is one of the main reasons why I'd like to make sure everyone masters storytelling. Through storytelling you learn to capture the entire attention of the group. Also you can have a chance to convey your personality and it gets you accustomed to doing so. The skills that are developed from strong storytelling directly carry over into your social personality that make all conversation with you more exciting and vivid. The expressiveness you show in stories ties into your future interactions and directly improves your social personality.
*Storytelling is a great way to display dominance
When you are telling a story the right way, all eyes are on you, you are the center of attention, and everyone lingers off your next word. Holding the attention of the group through storytelling puts you in a dominant frame of you being the leader of the interaction and everyone else being the listener, waiting to see where you take the group next.
What you convey through your stories is how you will be remembered.
Unlike most things you say during an interaction, a good story is unforgettable. How many times have you had someone tell you about some crazy story that one of their friends told them? Stories have been passed down for ages; it is an old custom and still exists till this day. The girl should be able to look back on the interaction and be like "Oh yeah, that was the guy who (did whatever interesting activity that relates to you)."
*Those thing that you normally couldn't say can be brought out through storytelling.
There may be some interesting details of your life that said outside the context of a story may come off as bragging. But in a story, these little details are never the subject of the story thus they remain subtle but are powerful when displaying aspects of your identity.
Now that you have an idea of why storytelling is so effective and what you should be aiming for when telling a story we are going to work on creating your very own powerful stories that cannot be ignored. All this will be covered in Part II of this newsletter, but there is an exercise I want you to do right now so you can directly apply all the tips and tactics to create an amazing story.
Exercise 1: Make a list from seven to ten moments in your life that you feel have changed or defined who you are.
Ideas: Vacations, Life/Death Experiences, an unforgettable concert or sporting event, a moment you succeeded, something funny that happened to you or a friend.
If you have a funny story then that can be humorous if you share it to others then you can feel free to include that. But even if the story does not seem major, just entertaining, the fact that you can remember it means it has a bigger effect than you realize.
This can be happy, fun, or even sad (not depressing) but we do learn through negative experiences. We will eventually cut these down to just a couple stories in Part II but for now I just want you to get into the habit of taking note of interesting experiences in your life.
Now I know that there are going to be people that say they have no interesting stories. This is just not the truth; everyone has something interesting that has shaped who they are. Do not be modest; even if it's a silly story write it down. You can't be afraid to share a story, sometimes they are hard to think of and if you really can't think of a past story, starting paying more attention to your every day life. And if you still can’t think of one then go take a vacation, you will return with hundreds of them.
So many things happen in one day that people don't even think would be a story. But every past event being told is a story. There is no excuse not to have one.
Exercise 2: Write at least 5 things that you would like people to know about you.
Ideas: Hobbies, Sports you play, instruments you play, your job, your goals, your skills and achievements.
This is going to tie into personality conveying. Think of the things that you would like any friend or new acquaintance to know about you. These are the things that directly relate to your identity and make you who you are. Do not be surprised if these things are directly related in some way to the stories you wrote down in exercise one.
Now save those list, we are going to use that in Part II of this newsletter to create some super powerful stories that you can always rely on. Also I will further go into the skills of storytelling and how to use them to make every story and conversation more interesting.
I am going to do this very exercise along with you guys so you will get to see my story end product as well.
See you on the part II of this newsletter and great ready to really take storytelling to the next level.
Pick-Up Artist Techniques in Attracting Women
They'll start talking about evolution, alpha males, how women will always cheat on their boyfriends, how they know that women are more intimate than men etc.
From now on, consider that as a nonsense as "The Talk of Death".
Let me explain why, and I will give you a very counter-intuitive idea of what to do instead.
The kind of things I've learned in pick-up generally will make your conversation topics very poor to women. Especially hot ones.
It might work with the anthropologist grad student, but to the woman that any man in his right mind would be attracted to, I don't think so.
There are a few major things wrong with this strategy:
(BTW - if you do happen to run with a woman that loves this kind of stuff, by all means talk about it, I'm just saying it should not be used as an ATTRACTION strategy for the majority of female population)
1. It puts a woman on the defensive. It's exactly like one country revealing it's battle plans to another country that it is at war with.
It shows that you are "thinking too much" about the dynamic, which not only is a huge turn off, but also makes her think you're going to be a mind-trip. Not good.
2. Chances are, her awareness level is about 10% of yours.
Especially if you're keeping up on my newsletters with a concept called "Stepped Awareness".
Have you ever tried played a song you loved for a friend and they just didn't get it?
It's because their awareness didn't go through the same process that yours had - and resulted in you really liking the song...
To a woman who spends the majority of her time thinking about new shoes and clothes, celebrities and her problems with her boss, your talk about "the unique mating patters of the bonobo apes and how it relates to women in the club" is just too alien and weird for her.
This is the same reason why you'll sometimes see the biggest AFC ever with a smoking hot women. He's normal, and she can easily introduce him to her friends without embarrassment!
3. To a woman that DO understand it; what you say seems like a big deal, when it should be plainly obvious.
5-10% of women actually DO get this stuff. It's obvious, intuitive and accepted for them.
These women tend to also like women and capable of open relationships, which is generally a lot of fun.
But here's the thing - the guys they end up dating also get this stuff intuitively.
And when you get something intuitively, you'll never go out of your way to convince another person of it, or explain it like it's some huge revelation!
So the moment you get in that, the women who are most eligible for the lifestyle you're looking for, will automatically disqualify you.
So here's what to do instead...
Well - one of the most powerful techniques I use is this:
• Understand society's programming,
• Understand the woman's specific programming, and
• Appear to be under the exact same programming
Keep your knowledge of reality to yourself (and of course, if you figure out anything great, I would appreciate it if you share it on my forum)
Understand this stuff and you'll see a big difference in your game .
Useful Mindsets for Disarming Male Competition
Have you avoided approaching a girl just because she is
talking to another guy?
Or maybe you avoided approaching a group of girls with one
or two guys with them because you feared embarrassment just
because you ASSUMED that those guys were cooler than you.
Most guys shy away from approaching women who are with other
guys for a couple reasons.
They assume that the girl is "with" the guy, and assume he's
her boyfriend.
This isn't a real reason to not talk to a woman, especially
in a bar - it's a social setting where people meet other
people. Plus - she's not his "slave" - she's a human being,
not a piece of property, so she is free to talk to whomever
she chooses.
You will extremely look confident if you approach more often
a woman who is "with" a guy and this can draw out the guy's
jealous side, making him look weak and insecure.
The second reason why guys don't approach woman who is
"with" a guy points to a deep insecurity based on a simple
misconception.
Guys assumed that the "other guy" is stronger, cooler, or
somehow more powerful than they are. Men tend to be
threatened by other men.
This is founded in an ancient survival strategy that has
been hardwired into the human brain.
In any given interaction, its often hard to tell who the
more "dominant" person is. So when a male is confronted by
another male, he doesn't know how dominant the other guy is.
The social hierarchy is very subtle, and mostly unconscious.
He doesn't know if he will be embarrassed verbally, or as
was probably common thousands of years ago, beaten up.
So it's better to play safe by assuming that the other guy
is a threat. Guys that were too bold may have won a few
confrontations, but it will take a single loss to end up
dead or exiled from the game.
And then their genes were eliminated from "race" so to
speak.
Usually the one that can lived long enough to survive and
reproduce are those guys that played it safe and avoided
confrontation.
The irony is that nowadays this hard-wired survival strategy
is the basis for most approach anxiety - men makes a false
assumptions that will lead them to avoid approaching women
unnecessarily.
The thing is, most times when you see a woman talking to
another guy in the bar or club, she's not WITH him.
They JUST MET!
For many instances I've approached a girl with a guy
thinking it was her boyfriend, then only to find out that he
was just a random dude who just approached her. Or he was
just a friend or relative.
I think of all the times I completely avoided talking to a
woman because I saw her with another guy. I regret having
missed so many opportunities. Which brings me to my first
point:
I SHOULDN'T ASSUME THEY ARE TOGETHER UNTIL I SEE A PHYSICAL
EVIDENCE. I DON'T KNOW WHAT HE MEANS TO THE GIRL.
You will know it if you try to act and find out. Just
remember that in time that they are together you should be
alert an respectful, the guy may be the insecure jealous
type and may start a confrontation.
So use your brain - just don't be stagnant in making a false
assumptions.
Another thing that I want to talk about is the idea that the
other guy can be more "dominant" than you are.
The concept of the alpha male is completely outdated. In the
caveman days, the alpha male had real power - he had access
to resources like food, and was physically stronger, so he
could beat up competitors.
But ask yourself if those powers are relevant today. Every
man with a source of income can survive on his own - if
you're reading this, you probably have access to food and
shelter. You're all set.
Plus, it's illegal to just beat people up. My point is,
physical strength is pretty much irrelevant in the modern
world.
Attacking another person will always end you up defeated
because the police always win.
If you think about it, you are LETTING RANDOM GUYS STOP YOU
FOR NO REASON!
Just excuse my French, but who is HE to say who YOU talk
to???
It was annoying - remembering all the girls I missed out on
because I was scare about some DUDE. And I get mad knowing
that the other guys are dealing with some crap!
When time comes that you're on your deathbed, you are going
to reminisce on all the things you did and didn't do. How
painful would it be to say "I didn't meet that woman because
I was worried of the other guy she's with," or "there were a
lot of beautiful that I could have enjoyed, but I didn't
even try to approached them because I saw them TALKING to
another guy.
I don't want that to be you.
So let's look at this on a deeper level. Seeing another guy
as more dominant means you don't truly understand dominance.
You see, you instantly consider yourself NOT dominant when
you're concerned with who is more dominant. There's a better
focus.
Dominant men don't think about who is dominant. To be
dominant, you must first THINK like a dominant man. So what
do dominant men think about? Whatever it is they are doing
or want.
So when you see another guy talking to a group of girls.
Focus on the girls instead of worrying who is the dominant
between the two of you.
I seldom even acknowledge other guys, because it's proven to
be just a waste of time. 9 out of 10 women don't even know
the guy - they just meet him.
Or if they do know the guy, it's because he was a friend of
ONE of the girls, and the rest barely know him.
It's rare for girls to go out with a guy they are dating -
usually they will bring a guy who is more of a
protector/friend because a guy like that is more valuable
when they go out on the town.
And also, if that guy IS with one of the girls, that means
he's NOT with the other girls - they are fair game.
When you are concerned with who's the alpha male, you are by
definition NOT the alpha male. In fact, it's questionable
whether alpha males truly exist in the modern world.
Have your focus in a USEFUL place and don't assume anything.
And don't let some random guy prevent you from enjoying YOUR
LIFE!
Does it Feel like WORK Meeting Women?
Does meeting with women seems like a WORK to you?
And how does it feel that despite of all the effort you're
doing you're still not getting an inch closer to your goal?
READ ON if you answered YES those questions.
I'm not going to lie, the dating game can be quite
frustrating.
Seeing a woman that you like but has already a boyfriend.
Everything is going smooth and fine between you and a woman
and then just suddenly she's not returning or answering your
calls.
Aside from the fact that as the guy you are the one that do
everything in order to move things forward.
YOU have to have the courage to approach.
First off, you need to keep you conversation moving, then
you have to escalate physically, you have to get her number
or much better you have to figure out a logistical way to
take her home, YOU have to plan the date.
Men are much higher than women when it comes to the
standards of behavior.
(Don't get me started on that...let's just think that girls
are allowed to get away with sub-par behavior just because
they are "pretty.")
It can be pretty exhausting, especially if you're not
"extroverted" by nature.
... I have often heard a complain about "extroversion
fatigue" from a client of mine.
I exactly knew what he meant about because I used to
struggle with it before.
Looking back I used to teach myself about pick-up, I would
go out, talking to three or four women and then find myself
mentally DRAINED.
I would have to sit down and rest!
I am working hard than I was in my full time job instead of
having some fun and relax in those situation. Now you see
how strange it is.
I would go home absolutely dead
... from SPEAKING TO WOMEN!
Does that make any sense???
And there was the overall, general dating fatigue. The
emotional ups and downs, the discouraging results, the
effort I had to make just to get women to hang out with me
or to sleep with me.
It was like a full time job and I was working overtime!
The first time I got into this game I had force myself to go
out and pickup ALL DAY for days on end. (I was a nerd, I
admit that, and had pushed it to the extreme.)
All I can say is that I have this passion in learning those
stuff (very eager for the outcome after years of sensual
frustration)
It's like a professional athletes that pushes themselves in
the gym, that is how I pursue myself.
I was forming NEW NEUROPATHWAYS and working on my muscles
that I've never done before.
If you can relate to any of this, then you are probably
working too hard in your interactions with women.
Here are the 3 reasons for this.
The first reason is may be new to you - being socially
proactive.
As I can remember, I don't have a pectoral muscles - (the
one that is right at the top of your chest just under the
clavicle that makes the chest look bigger) before I started
lifting weights.
Actually I did, but they were so small and weak, it took a
good three weeks to even begin to feel them. Every time I
worked them out I was incredibly sore and could barely move
my arms.
And then I reached a tipping point of sorts, where the
muscle was developed enough that I could handle big amounts
of weight without all the soreness and fatigue. Your mind is
the same way.
You need to push yourself harder everyday in accordance to
the level of your skills. Because developing a new
neuro-pathways will take time.
Thinking that meeting women requires a lot of hard work can
cause a social fatigue. And that is the second reason.
It's not really so much about "fatigue" but it's more on
having an overwhelmed feeling.
When you feel overwhelmed by something, it can frazzle your
mind, and lead to a sort of depression, or discouragement,
which may feel like exhaustion if you're not deeply aware.
It's like your body is saying "ugh, it's too much work. I
give up before I can even begin."
This will hold you back from DOING ANYTHING. I suffered from
this kind of feeling when I started putting a lot of my
theories on paper. I looked at my notes and felt like I was
looking at one of those huge, complex physics equations.
It was discouraging to think that I had to do almost all the
needed things just to get a good quality of women.
The last reason for feeling exhausted in the dating and
mating game is that you are spending too much mental energy
in the wrong places, wasting your focus on stuff that isn't
useful to pickup .
I'd say 99 percent of guys get it wrong when it comes to
attracting women. The thing is, the woman usually can't
tell, because most guys learn to hide their inner "stuff"
after a few harsh rejections.
But of course we can't oppose to the reality that when a guy
is attracted to a girl, he is trying his best just to win
her or at least know if the women likes him too.
Think about the messages we get from the media, our parents
and friends, and women - it's the man's role to IMPRESS the
woman and EARN sex from her.
So Pathetic!
I hate seeing an advertisement of a guy that bumbling around
a cute girl trying to impress her, even though he looks like
a fool while the girl giggles like she's better than him
because she's a girl.
Ok, enough for that protest... my point here is that so many
guys are being screwed when it comes to the control of their
dating game.
But if a guy takes the time to adjust the way his MIND works
when it comes to attraction, it changes everything.
Once you get to highest level of your interaction with
women, you will truly be attractive to them. You just need
to be at your best both physically and emotionally.
A MAN AT HIS BEST.
One Night Stands for The Pick-up Artist
Let me share with you the topic about One Night Stand
Before I don't really know how to do the one night stands,
and I started to understand how easy it is to apply after I
have used a couple of solid pickups .
"Bad belief overhaul" is what I can say when I look back on
those things that I did.
I began to believe that women wanted me and wants to get in
bed.
I am having some confidence that I was that desirable and
attractive to women eventhough I know that I am far the one
considered as good-looking .
Wanting to sleep with more women is the main goal of the 75%
of my students.
While the others have the aim to find their someone special
but I don't think these aim are mutually exclusive.
Because if you are looking for a special girl, you have meet
a lot of women so that you determine and pick the best
choice.
It would be impossible to meet your someone special if you
don't socialize and meet with a bunch of good women.
There's a very common phase that every good pickup artist
goes through when he gets started. He begins learning new
ways of thinking and behaving, and lo and behold, he starts
meeting and sleeping with a LOT OF WOMEN.
Like a kid that uses all his new powers just to have all
that he wants in the candy store.
In order for me to snap out of my old way of thinking, a
period of learning is necessary so that I can start to
internalize my new reality. That I can be attractive and
desirable to women and above all, women will be obsess to
sleep with me.
Bare in mind that it is important to have a fast and natural
sensual encounter when you are with women, for you to get
the goal in your hand.
I'm telling about a same day lays or a one-night stand.
Having a one-night 'stands at-will' can seem just as
out-of-reach as having a great girlfriend. So if you never
had a one night stand, you might be considering about it.
Actually if you know what you are doing, it will be all
easy.
But a lot of men are making a way that is too hard for
themselves, where they never be able to gain the initial
sensual experience that will lead them to feel like
"natural."
I know you want to get BETTER with woman and above of it to
MASTER THE GAME. If not you will not read this, right?
Mastery comes from within - it starts with a mindset, and
leads to external results, which then form NEW BELIEFS in
your mind.
Your new beliefs will become the foundation in building and
facing the new reality in your life, you will then naturally
attract many women without even thinking and doing fancy
lines and routines.
There's one thing you need to know when going for a
one-night stand - You cannot always bring home the hottest
girl in the place.
You can get a solid number from her, but its not a guarantee
that you can take her home because whether or not a woman is
open to going home with a guy, it varies widely in
particular night.
But there are lots of horny women that are open to get
physically fast and wants to get laid that same day or
night. All you have to do is know how to spot them in any
situation whether it is a day or night or in the club, bar
and park.
The things that I look in spotting them are in the way how
they dressed, how much make-up they put on their face and
other things that relates to how they look physically.
Remember that there is a reason why women exert a lot of
effort in order to look beautiful.
The reason is they want to be approached. Although it isn't
always true but is generally the case.
You will also know that a woman is seeking attention when
she is so loud, hyper and animated.
Lastly, another good prospect are woman that are looking
around the room more than the other girls that she's with.
Also a group of two or three women all standing around with
blank expressions, scoping the room are another prospect.
These women are obviously making themselves out there,
waiting to be notice by men.
Now you have to take this in mind -- Avoid running your
clever routines into full-stream and your cocky frame
control stuff when approaching those women.
You have to let them know that you are interested in meeting
them, A simple "hey ladies, you all look great tonight.
Special occasion?" is enough. Its just have to be light,
warming and social.
The key here is not to openly discuss getting in sensual or
that you are looking to take her home. You see, if you talk
about that, you'll put her on the spot and make her agree to
bang with you, implicitly.
Or also, build sensual tension with her, as we discuss
heavily in our workshops.
The woman will force herself to keep distance from you
because that is against her "rules". And you need a logistic
information in order to figure out how to bring her back to
your place
The real key to all this is subtracting any overt sensual
intention, and not trying to pick her up.
You have to be willing to let go of controlling the
situation, and just enjoy yourself, while escalating
appropriately.
It may sound counter intuitive, but that's how it works.
You must trust that women wants to be in bed and there are a
lot of women in the club, bar or in any venue that wants to
get a same day lay.
Some won't, but some will, and that's why it's key that you
get a sense of what to look for, and how to proceed.
You don't want to put a lot of effort and time with the
wrong girl or to pick the right girl and then mess it up
after a very long interaction.
That's a HUGE waste of time.
The Attraction code video
Converting Fast Pick-Ups to a Relationship
Don't you know that even though guys that can pull these off enjoy not only success with girls straight out of a fantasy world and typically get women obsessed with them, with a fast pick-up comes a big problem...
SOMETIMES FAST LAYS DON'T BECOME RELATIONSHIPS
Sometimes a fast pick-up becomes a one-night stand, and never converts into a relationship.
Of well, it is fine for those who has these intention.
But a most of time, you DO want to see the girl again – or better yet start a relationship with her.
Here's something I want you to know – Every girl I have slept with in the past 2 years has been under 4 hours.
And EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. wanted to see me again...
Am I saying this to brag? Hell no.
I'm only saying this because I want you to realize that as a client of mine, I'm giving you an immense amount of value, and to prove a very important point:
"POTENTIAL TO START A RELATIONSHIP WITH A GIRL HAS *NOTHING* TO DO WITH HOW FAST YOU SLEEP WITH HER"
There are three major keys to a continuing intimate relationship with a girl...
And it's time for me to debunk a few myths about this.
************************* ****
3 MYTHS ABOUT FAST PICK UPS
************************* ****
MYTH #1: You must "build comfort" with a girl for 7+ hours before sleeping with her.
As I said, sleeping with a girl has nothing to do with the amount of time you spend with her.
In fact it has almost NOTHING to do with anything you do before you sleep with her in fact, the secret lies in what you do after you sleep with her.
I have got it down to an exact science. A series of actions and behaviors that practically guarantee she will not only see you again, but also be borderline obsessed with you...
No routines, lines and nothing fancy stuff... just natural behaviors that a person can learn in less than five minutes.
Now here's the reality of these situation.
The reality is some of the hottest, most intelligent women I have dated loved the excitement of getting physical really fast.
It's straight out of the movies, and very few guys can pull it off skillfully.
MYTH #2: You need to reassure the woman that you will see her again before sleeping with her.
Many guys try this... they imply that the girl is "relationship material" or that he definitely wants to see her again.
Man... what a way to kill intrigue right off the bat...
Guys do this and tend to come on wayyyy to strong. They appear too interested, too needy, to desperate to have a girlfriend.
But at the same time you shouldn't imply that it's a one night stand, or that you're just interested in sex.
This isn't very effective either...
MYTH #3: Be great in bed the first time you sleep with her.
One of my good friends, Julian, who is admittedly bad in bed and only lasts for about 3 minutes converts girls like *CRAZY*.
The point here is he is NOT good in bed (his choice), and still gets girls so crazy about him, they won't leave him alone.... (so he ends up playing Gears of War on his XBox360 while they sit there naked, watching him.)
At this point you may be thinking...
"BUT VIN, THIS IS TOO ADVANCED, I STILL HAVE PROBLEMS PICKING UP AND SLEEPING WITH A GIRL!"
I understand that.
But hey listen. This is important information that you're going to need someday.
And let's be honest - when you DO start sleeping with girls - wouldn't you rather have the choice to see them again or not?
That's what I thought.
The Importance of Sexual Tension in an Interaction with Women
It is considered as the source of energy or the one charge up to the interaction with girls. Its application is subtle, but powerful wherein it can seduce , attract and pick-up quickly women.
There are many different conceptualizations of sexual tension floating around in the seduction community. Some of these techniques are better than others, and can definitely improve the quality and success of your pickups .
Some examples of these are cocky bantering and flirting, explicit sexual interest paired with false barriers, using the word “sexy” to convey a sexual intent, and of course the old Speed Seduction route – complex language patterns intended to implant sexual thoughts in a woman’s mind.
I prefer a very pure definition of sexual tension because it is grounded in real sexual desire, and a very natural way of magnifying the tension felt by a girl.
Sexual tension is the presence of a controlled arousal state, in the absence of overt sexual interest.
In a proper time, I create sexual tension by focusing my sexual desire on my woman, but not making any visible sexual advances. I maintain intrigue, a sense of ambiguity, which keeps my girl focused on me, and directs her mind toward sexual thoughts. My sexual tension now is transferred to her, and she is now aroused. It is then only a matter of handling logistics through leadership and compliance techniques.
Controlled Sexual Arousal State
There are two reasons why a sexually aroused state is so important:
- First, women love sex. A sexual man is valuable to a woman because he can give her pleasure. Women are attracted to men who are attracted to women.
- The second reason is more subtle. There is a phenomenon I call “state-transfer.” Have you ever been in a bad mood, and a friend came by in a really great, excited mood?
Your mood probably changed, and you found yourself smiling and cheering up in spite of yourself.
Or how do you feel around someone when they are nervous? You feel nervous too!
Think of a time you were with a woman, say a girlfriend, and she was obviously very horny and sexually aroused, but you weren’t doing anything sexual. You probably will get horny because she was aroused. This is how humans hypnotize each other in every day life – we transfer our states to each other.
State transfer may occur on a metaphysical, psychic energy level. But more so, a state is transferred with non-verbal sub communication. When you are turned on, your voice subtly (or not so subtly) reflects your state, as do your facial expressions, eye contact, manner of touching, body language, and a million other little things to numerous to try to micromanage.
How to have a controlled arousal state
It’s not as simple as just being turned on, although that’s part of it. State control is vital - if you are nervous or uncomfortable, you won’t be able to get sexually aroused. (State control is not only vital in seduction, but in life. It allows you to stay calm, generally happy, and more productive. In spiritual terms, it is sometimes called “staying centered” or having “peace of mind.”)
The best way to stay calm and comfortable in social situations is experience. Socialize more, go out (be sober), get experience talking to girls.
Meditation, good diet, avoidance of harmful indulgences like drug use, television, internet, and regular exercise all help.
Building the Tension
For the “getting turned on” part, raising your testosterone level will have an incredible effect. Natural ways to increase testosterone include heavy weight training (squats, deadlifts, bench press, etc.) zinc supplementation, eating lots of animal protein, and if possible, regular sex.
Now you already know how to get aroused.
So during your interactions with women, simply focus on what she’d look like naked, or imagine having sex with her, or whatever fun little thoughts you want to make just to make you aroused.
The tension component is really an extension of the second level of the Attraction Hierarchy - Intrigue. Intrigue can be described in two ways. It can be seen as a lack of over-validating a woman, or getting her attention fixated on you by being ambiguous and holding back information.
These are flip sides of the same coin. Applied to sexual tension , we enter a sexual state, but don’t verbalize our desire.
If we did, the girl might may like it or not like it, but at now she knows where she stands - she is validated.
That isn’t bad, but it’s not optimal. She has you figured out, and knows you want her, which gives her the option of forgetting about you and focusing elsewhere. You are “solved.”
Another important point is about verbalizing sexual desires is that it puts her in a position where she has to agree to it. She must consciously admit that this is leading to sex. Again, that’s not bad, but is not optimal, and sometimes can create a mental block in a woman's mind.
As an illustration, imagine sitting in a room with a closed treasure chest in front of you. Then you open it and find gold coins. When is the chest more interesting?
True, the gold coins are great, but there’s no longer a mystery. You can even forget about the gold coins for a while to go watch TV or call a friend, because those coins aren’t going anywhere.
But before you know what’s in there, that chest preoccupies your mind and keeps your attention on that chest.
See my point there?
So once you have mastered this concept, you're great on your way.
Synopsis and Predictions
I have seen the recent episode of Mystery's the Pick Up Artist that was aired on VH1 a few weeks ago and I wanted to share with you guys my predictions.
What I liked:
1. Ridiculous Outfits of Mystery. No one can peacock like mystery , hands down. And the shows budget really allows for some fancy stuff. I dig it. Peacocking that hard is actually quite a challenge. Don't believe me? Go to your local lair and look at all the guys who try it and get it wrong. It's a trainwreck.
2. The Students. I love pick up students in general, they're always so eager to learn, share a common interest with me, and so grateful for the even the smallest amounts of improvement they make. Students are hands down the #1 reason why I do what I do.
3. The Challenges. Creative, fun and entertaining. Winner of one contest gets to walk around with a cute puppy in the next. Hillarious.
What I didn't like:
1. Mystery not knowing why some of his students fail... He's so attached to his structured method , he literally has blind spots as to why his students get blown out... "Yeah he should have used a false time constraint". How about his lame body language, complete lack of masculine vibe and messed up compliance ratios?
2. J-Dog's hair. I don't think I need to go into this. Looks like the poor dude passed out on a park bench in the middle of a graffiti contest. While there were certainly things about this show that bug the working pick up artist in me, I have to hand it to Mystery and VH1 for presenting the community in a good light to a mainstream audience.
3. Using 4 year old, tired-out material, like "flossing before you brush etc.." Come on, we stopped using that stuff 3 years ago for GOOD reason! LAME, non-sensual conversation that goes NOWHERE! Sure you'll get the girl to answer your question, but that's not always what I call PROGRESS. If you're going to have the guys memorizing routines, why not make them powerful, masculine and effective?
Out of the four dudes left, here's some predictions:
Alvaro: This guy COULD become a master pua , but not in a few weeks, and not under Mystery's tuleage. He's got that "inner flame" that drives him to excel at different things, but he's going to need to really work to get consistent, and kill his approach anxiety and fear. He's still got the brakes on. The minute he gets past that, his game will explode.
Joe: I think this guy has got serious potential on the show. He's got the attitude down, but he's the type that will get a certain level of success and become complacent. He'll get a girlfriend and develop his social circle and work off that. Not TRUE master pua material. I just don't see the kind of passion/drive that would carry him to Master PUAdom. He may do well on the show, however, just due to the lack of competition.
Brady: Tall, good looking, fast learner. He's chill, makes steady progress. His use of corny material, and constant second guessing of himself is what's holding himself back. If he just chills out and acts NORMAL he'll be on fire. Again though, like joe, will probably become complacent at a certain level.
Pradeep: Could become a master pua, but he's gotta seriously increase his sensuality. He's in the friend zone still. Doesn't matter if he got that chick's number on the show because that was FRIENDLY number close. He's interesting but... too interesting. It's giving the woman something to be attracted to, but those things are too exterior to get that deep physical attraction that a pua needs to do fast pulls, sensual selection switching, multiple relationship stuff, etc...
Overall, the show is super entertaining and I'll definitely be trying to catch another episode if I can.
Dating Tips: Are You for Real?
After spending a night and sleeping with her, how do you let her know that all of what you said will be backed up?
These questions have the same answer. Through “Credibility”.
Many guys think they don't have enough value, 90% of their problem is they lack credibility. In fact, most of the style they used these days only serves to make a nasty woman-repelling player vibe.
"Player vibe" is not actually a bad vibe, but a mistake in building and maintaining credibility.
Creating credibility is one of the key components to sleeping with a girl quickly.
Other helpful component is sexual tension .
And as a good student of pick-up , you know that some women need sexual tension to sleep with you and the other half need credibility first. (You do know that, right?)
So let's get down to it:
There are three levels of credibility.
1. Safety
2. Commonality
3. Direction
A WORD ABOUT SOCIAL PROGRAMMING ->
You have realize that every person you meet is socially programmed in a different way. Even you have social programming. We all do.
It's not necessarily a bad thing. On the contrary, it's very useful.
Realize that although we understand a lot of a woman's behaviors come from her social programming, we can't expect her to realize that.
While men have evolved an instinct to try to sleep with as many women as possible, women have evolved an instinct to choose guys who demonstrate a high chance of sticking around to raise children.
And this instinct is reinforced by social programming.
Her programming is her reality. Her programming is literally her world.
And credibility is about showing you understand her world.
You can think of the three levels in this way:
Safety: The most basic and fundamental level of credibility, you need to demonstrate SAFETY before a woman will be alone with you and sleep with you. It's safe to have you in her world.
Commonality: You need to demonstrate commonality in order for a woman to continue sleeping with you, or have a relationship with you. You see the same things in her world. (Similar perceptions, values, and goals)
Direction: You need to show direction in order to get a woman to leave her current boyfriend or change her existing life plans to be with you. You have the ability to rearrange and alter her world.
HERE'S AN EXAMPLE ->
Think about if you were in your bedroom. Comfortably sitting in a chair.
And then a guy came in. And he said he was cold and wanted to turn up the heat. Then he asked you if you could vacate the chair where you are setting. And asked if he could urinate in the corner of your room.
Isn't it totally annoying? Of course it is. I bet you wouldn't trust a guy like that. You might even think “hey are you crazy!”.
He's showing you that he's not seeing the same reality as you. He's "in his own world". He doesn't understand and respect your world - you probably wouldn't connect with a guy like him or feel like giving him compliance.
This is how women feel when you don't demonstrate credibility.
If she thinks that it's a bad thing for people to kiss and tell (and most women do) -> You should show her you ALSO believe it's bad for people to kiss and tell.
The fact that you have the same perceptions about the world as her will build your credibility immensely.
These are best demonstrated in order.
And you can get really good at this. At first, guys are usually good at meeting a certain kind of woman.
It's because he naturally understands a certain type of worldview.
But as you move on and learned, you'll start to be able to match ANY woman's worldview.
The best way of doing this is by anticipating your woman's thoughts and verbalizing her feelings or views about the world, as if they are your own.
At first you will just be remembering things she's said in the past, and then repeating it after she's forgotten what she previously told you.
Then you will get good at pacing her reality and leading. Eventually it gets to the point where you can intuitively understand her reality. Then she will trust you to change it for her. You enter her world, and then start teaching her new things about HER world.
That's when you know you get this thing.
When someone comes along who understands a woman's reality so well, she doesn't just think he's perceptive and skilled, she just feels a connection.
She thinks "He's just like me!"
This is really the easiest thing in the world. Yet so many people mess it up.
But once you get to this things, believe me your game will improve dramatically.
A Subtle but Powerful Fix in Your Pick-Up Techniques
“Some guys will never become great with women.” Yeah, it's true. A lot of guys just won't get it.
And it's not because they're not smart or somehow defective... In fact, it's a subconscious choice, that they have made unknowingly.
Now, you might be wondering if how can you make sure that you're not one of those guys?
Am I right?
Well I'm here to tell you how. I'll be sharing a very subtle but very powerful fix that most gurus leave it out in their equation. So, probably you will never hear this from them.
Meet Matt. Matt's a good and sociable guy and has taken a bootcamp with another pickup companies. But he still doesn't get the success he longs for; in fact he's not successful at all.
"Vin, why don't you help him!?"
There are a couple reasons why I don't help Matt out. One being he's too set in his ways and is stubborn.
BUT, that's not the real reason. If Matt was only stubborn I'd have an easy time changing his mind about things.
The real reason why I can't help him is the same reason why he isn't successful with women.
As what I have said, Matt's a good guy, but every time we make a conversation I get the feeling like he wanted something from me. In fact a lot of our common friends have said the same thing to me about him.
We don't like hanging out with Matt and neither do women.
Matt always give the vibe of having an ulterior motive. He talks to you like a friend, which is great, but he naturally gives off a vibe that says to me that he's trying to take knowledge, power and fun from me.
The same thing happens when he's talking to women. He treats them nicely and is funny but always gives off this vibe that on the other side he has an underlying intention.
Having intentions with women isn't a bad thing. If you express your sensual intentions openly they'll acceptable it, especially if you have tight game. It may even turn them on. IN FACT it will skyrocket your conversion rate if you do it the right way.
If you come off as creepy and weird and you hide your intentions. Women won't trust you and they will feel unsafe being alone with you. You could be the best pretender in the world but... THEY WILL STILL KNOW.
Being creepy is the "Death" card in the Tarot deck of your love life. It will hinder your any chance of success you might have.
Now you have an idea on what might be going wrong. How do you fix it?
To start with you need to begin being fun and unattached to the outcome whenever you can. It could be anything like telling a great story to a group or being a great host to a bunch of your friends. It could also be a compliment (in the right way of course) or a tease that will spike emotions in way that is fun to a woman.
Be out there talking to women not only because you want to pickup , but because women are amazing, fun and interesting to be with.
Next you need to start doing is being clear about your intentions. This doesn't mean that you tell the girl directly “The purpose why I'm talking with you is so that I can get into your pants." That is a big turn-off and will absolutely kill your pickup about as fast as being creepy.
There are small subtle changes you can make in your behavior that will affect how your intentions are perceived and if you're congruent with what you're saying. There are so many small fixes that I could write a novel on them.
Do you want to read a novel about fixing your creepy vibe and then taking the months to implement it that it will require? I didn't think so. I wouldn't want to spend the months writing that novel either.